Such a high
Such a high after last night. Finding myself at a place I needed to be. Listening to what can reach my heart. Also making notes of what I need to work on. Finding out that there are others who have dealt with the same as me. Learning ways to adjust so I can grow more.
Grateful I didn't slack on going to where I needed to be. Entertaining myself in clothing that was not me. Deciding to be real and recognizing that my spiritual needs are far beyond what outdoor entertaining can bring.
I am glad that what was given reached and embarrassed me. For it is what I needed to notice that I am still in progress. And that is the love Jehovah gives his children. What I love about what a sister said, there is no such thing as a lost cause because if you are willing Jehovah finds away.
That was the best information Jehovah gave me today. Because I am willing to change, he will help me. I know it won't be next week or even next month but I hope by next year there will be noticeable changes.
That is all I can hope for. That is my reality.
So yeah I didn't need to be brave in any way today. I just needed to recognize my weaknesses to start my journey. I allowed parts of me to be sprayed wide open just so I can, with Jehovah's help, be free to walk among his people again.
Yes I know being able to say therapy has been good for me. Expanding who I am and all that was tragic, all that I did that was evil still shows that I am human. Just like many others. Yet to me, that is not what I am trying to explain. It is the fact that I can be brave, scared and emotional from everything I have survived. And all those times I was a monster to another person, I now understand why.
This is my process. This is my journey. So hide yourselves in a cloak and dagger experience in life but don't you dare try to pull me into it. I live my life the way I should. Even though I live steps away from one who can help change my progress. Surprisingly that is my motivator. My reasons NOT to go back to my old ways.
My part of progress. As for others, they can say what they want of me. I don't care anymore because they are no longer in my life. And if people are looking at my words and discussing it only to backlash at me, please find your own hole. Mine is only big enough for me and my issues. I need not the drama found within yours.
Thank you.
So here is my highlight of the day. Stripping what used to cause me great harm, told to therapists and explored. Dug into by Jehovah and soon explored by my mind how to change.
In that I look forward to. As for others go on being brave and cloaked, it suits you well... in darkness.
Grateful I didn't slack on going to where I needed to be. Entertaining myself in clothing that was not me. Deciding to be real and recognizing that my spiritual needs are far beyond what outdoor entertaining can bring.
I am glad that what was given reached and embarrassed me. For it is what I needed to notice that I am still in progress. And that is the love Jehovah gives his children. What I love about what a sister said, there is no such thing as a lost cause because if you are willing Jehovah finds away.
That was the best information Jehovah gave me today. Because I am willing to change, he will help me. I know it won't be next week or even next month but I hope by next year there will be noticeable changes.
That is all I can hope for. That is my reality.
So yeah I didn't need to be brave in any way today. I just needed to recognize my weaknesses to start my journey. I allowed parts of me to be sprayed wide open just so I can, with Jehovah's help, be free to walk among his people again.
Yes I know being able to say therapy has been good for me. Expanding who I am and all that was tragic, all that I did that was evil still shows that I am human. Just like many others. Yet to me, that is not what I am trying to explain. It is the fact that I can be brave, scared and emotional from everything I have survived. And all those times I was a monster to another person, I now understand why.
This is my process. This is my journey. So hide yourselves in a cloak and dagger experience in life but don't you dare try to pull me into it. I live my life the way I should. Even though I live steps away from one who can help change my progress. Surprisingly that is my motivator. My reasons NOT to go back to my old ways.
My part of progress. As for others, they can say what they want of me. I don't care anymore because they are no longer in my life. And if people are looking at my words and discussing it only to backlash at me, please find your own hole. Mine is only big enough for me and my issues. I need not the drama found within yours.
Thank you.
So here is my highlight of the day. Stripping what used to cause me great harm, told to therapists and explored. Dug into by Jehovah and soon explored by my mind how to change.
In that I look forward to. As for others go on being brave and cloaked, it suits you well... in darkness.
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