Every day is one day
Currently the contemplation of whether to forgo my spiritual food and wallow in the pity I have for myself is racing between my mind. Yet I know what I need to do. Spank myself for thinking that I needed to not go to my meeting. The words of discouragement held me once more today.
I can't help but cry. So I had to wait for my mother to rest to empty out my tears. So much of my life is screwed up and every time I take measurements to go in a good direction the slam against the wall happens. So now all I can do is just hope that by some miracle someone feels pity on me. Yet I don't even ask that of people.
Life is hard and I have been through some really nasty things in my lifetime but still just those slaps are harsh. Yet I know I will push through. Not sure how but everything always goes the way it should, according to Jehovah. So right now all I can do is prepare for this meeting and swallow the anguish. Praying and hoping.
All I can do is absorb what Jehovah is giving me. I may even find exactly what I needed to hear in the meeting. It always helped me before. I look forward to it now. Even though today my heart just isn't in it. I still know what I need. And I am happy.
As much as there is anguish and tiredness I am still happy I got one more day to learn.
As more tears fall down my face causing these angry streaks to crease down my freckled face. I won't say what is bothering me. I just put it to Jehovah and hope with all that I am doing in application
something finally gives way.
A good hope. I knew today was going to be rough but 2 hours in the doctors office only to confirm what I already knew, its harsh. But I still hold my head up. I still keep living life as though it is my last. I have to do that because I don't know if it will be tonight or in two decades. I really don't know.
So even in my lowest moment, right now, I still see old friends pushing me. That is the encouragement I gain. And even though I can't talk to those at my meeting at least I get to hear their comments and there voices lifting in love to Jehovah.
So sure I keep setting good examples. I keep trying to go forward with all I know today. Trying not to cry too much and hoping that the experiences of those around me, help with the kindness of love. I can only hope.
And so now I just need to wash my face. Get ready for the night and pray hard that someone really listens to the pressures of me. Yet I wouldn't know how to address anyone. So I am just going to leave it out there.
Prepare myself and compose the outfit. Going forward and taking every leap I can to cling to what I have right now. Every day is one day, right?
I can't help but cry. So I had to wait for my mother to rest to empty out my tears. So much of my life is screwed up and every time I take measurements to go in a good direction the slam against the wall happens. So now all I can do is just hope that by some miracle someone feels pity on me. Yet I don't even ask that of people.
Life is hard and I have been through some really nasty things in my lifetime but still just those slaps are harsh. Yet I know I will push through. Not sure how but everything always goes the way it should, according to Jehovah. So right now all I can do is prepare for this meeting and swallow the anguish. Praying and hoping.
All I can do is absorb what Jehovah is giving me. I may even find exactly what I needed to hear in the meeting. It always helped me before. I look forward to it now. Even though today my heart just isn't in it. I still know what I need. And I am happy.
As much as there is anguish and tiredness I am still happy I got one more day to learn.
As more tears fall down my face causing these angry streaks to crease down my freckled face. I won't say what is bothering me. I just put it to Jehovah and hope with all that I am doing in application
something finally gives way.
A good hope. I knew today was going to be rough but 2 hours in the doctors office only to confirm what I already knew, its harsh. But I still hold my head up. I still keep living life as though it is my last. I have to do that because I don't know if it will be tonight or in two decades. I really don't know.
So even in my lowest moment, right now, I still see old friends pushing me. That is the encouragement I gain. And even though I can't talk to those at my meeting at least I get to hear their comments and there voices lifting in love to Jehovah.
So sure I keep setting good examples. I keep trying to go forward with all I know today. Trying not to cry too much and hoping that the experiences of those around me, help with the kindness of love. I can only hope.
And so now I just need to wash my face. Get ready for the night and pray hard that someone really listens to the pressures of me. Yet I wouldn't know how to address anyone. So I am just going to leave it out there.
Prepare myself and compose the outfit. Going forward and taking every leap I can to cling to what I have right now. Every day is one day, right?
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