Unique opportunity
A long run today. Spikes of good and bad came my way. Yet I didn't understand the bad so much but I enjoyed the light inside of it.
And then I brighten even more with the commercial of Miss Dior. The slogan "And you, what would you do for love?" just makes me ask myself every time.
I know what I would do for love but thinking and doing are two different things. So I keep the ideas in my head until another time and place.
Though I smile when I think about what I thought love was and what I have come to know it really is. Relationships, communications, trust, honesty and depth of understanding and patience. That is what love really is.
As a child and young adult I thought it meant some sort of working emotion you felt for people but when I didn't respond to people the way they wanted I guess I wasn't going to be allowed to love.
The workings of a young infj mind will make belief become truth. So here I sat for years believing I am incapable of anything to do with love. Even to the point of knowing God is love and still not comprehending work had to be involved.
Silly child mind. And now. Now I realized I did understand. I still do and it expands every day.
Seeing it doesn't have to be the infatuation of someone but the hard work, the trust and the patience combined with communications and honesty. That is where I am going forward with things.
So much was that I looked for a partnership with the wrong types of people. The ones who scratched the surface of who I am only to be scared off by what they can't see. And that I only give layers. Rice paper thin layers.
Sure the good outweighs the bad and yet the thoughts that life stops in a weird circle.
So sure my mind bounces along with millions of servers opened, papers flying everywhere in a scene but if some one really was patient enough they would reach inside and see that glow I have.
It's a form of sadness in a way when you know you are different on so many scales but just need that one person to be just fine with your scatterbrained moments. It is a unique experience when someone finally gets to comprehend why I tick and see light in everything.
It's a joyful opportunity indeed. So rare indeed.
One day.
But today I am okay.
And then I brighten even more with the commercial of Miss Dior. The slogan "And you, what would you do for love?" just makes me ask myself every time.
I know what I would do for love but thinking and doing are two different things. So I keep the ideas in my head until another time and place.
Though I smile when I think about what I thought love was and what I have come to know it really is. Relationships, communications, trust, honesty and depth of understanding and patience. That is what love really is.
As a child and young adult I thought it meant some sort of working emotion you felt for people but when I didn't respond to people the way they wanted I guess I wasn't going to be allowed to love.
The workings of a young infj mind will make belief become truth. So here I sat for years believing I am incapable of anything to do with love. Even to the point of knowing God is love and still not comprehending work had to be involved.
Silly child mind. And now. Now I realized I did understand. I still do and it expands every day.
Seeing it doesn't have to be the infatuation of someone but the hard work, the trust and the patience combined with communications and honesty. That is where I am going forward with things.
So much was that I looked for a partnership with the wrong types of people. The ones who scratched the surface of who I am only to be scared off by what they can't see. And that I only give layers. Rice paper thin layers.
Sure the good outweighs the bad and yet the thoughts that life stops in a weird circle.
So sure my mind bounces along with millions of servers opened, papers flying everywhere in a scene but if some one really was patient enough they would reach inside and see that glow I have.
It's a form of sadness in a way when you know you are different on so many scales but just need that one person to be just fine with your scatterbrained moments. It is a unique experience when someone finally gets to comprehend why I tick and see light in everything.
It's a joyful opportunity indeed. So rare indeed.
One day.
But today I am okay.
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