Hemi trials
Oh these aura from the migraine. The colors of navy and green swirl inside my head.
So heavy. So demanding but my mind isn't tired just the pale soul. I close my eyes long enough to just breathe. Even yawn as the gray blue eyes water.
Oh not crying. No pain here just the twirling colors and lightheadedness. Not because of diet nor dehydration just the quakes of the hemi becoming a storm inside of me.
So much of today was peaceful. Even into the moment where my heart escalated to twenty beats faster than my average. Then to pinpoint the weights of limbs.
I absorbed myself into the chair I was in. So much that the rocks, the stones that were my soul and the air I inhaled, made me feel like liquid. Invisible.
I know the pieces of me are in overload. I recognize where I am going. The slow, complete shutdown before a major case of sickness hits.
All I can do is prepare. Day 9 now. Been positive the entire ride but now just exhausted. Ready for the train to stutter and call to attention a get out roll.
Yet I laugh even now. Holding onto the light that is waiting for me.
The silent breaths that I inhale only have them vanish into an exhale escaping tired lungs. So much of me is on fire.
My spine is burning and feels as though someone is using a roller on it. Then to exhale deeply once more the stinging in my chest of stones occurs. All comes down to the liquid fire blazing inside my blood, raging against my nerves.
There is no way to ease things but to manage watching something, listening to music -- suggestions from friends, softly recall low breathing techniques.
By far I am not likely to subject my story to anyone in personal face to face but here I will explain the levels. Yet not today.
Today it is the trials of life and happiness that keep me going even in my blinding moments of this hemi migraine.
Indeed I still smile. Do you want to know why? It is because Jehovah knows I can endure it. That is wonderful news, is it not?
So here I exhale as the green flashes distance me from the writing only to meet up with flashes of reds and blacks.
Truly kindness. Even when I am losing myself inside the devastating hemi I still know relief is there, sleep comes fast afterwards. A good reward.
I know it sounds like I was complaining but no. I was trying to make people understand we all face our own kinds of trials and tribulations. Yet it all matters only how you respond to them, is what I am explaining.
Yes my trials are sometimes difficult but I had training in my youth in how to deal with the difficulties and who really is my friend through it all. Jehovah. Can't say much for humans though.
No offense but I crawl inside myself before I let people see my pain or my frustrations. Much less my tears.
I can't expect anyone to understand but I do know Jehovah does. That is the kindness and love he gives.
Knowing I can endure, loving. Truly.
Rewarding in the end.
So heavy. So demanding but my mind isn't tired just the pale soul. I close my eyes long enough to just breathe. Even yawn as the gray blue eyes water.
Oh not crying. No pain here just the twirling colors and lightheadedness. Not because of diet nor dehydration just the quakes of the hemi becoming a storm inside of me.
So much of today was peaceful. Even into the moment where my heart escalated to twenty beats faster than my average. Then to pinpoint the weights of limbs.
I absorbed myself into the chair I was in. So much that the rocks, the stones that were my soul and the air I inhaled, made me feel like liquid. Invisible.
I know the pieces of me are in overload. I recognize where I am going. The slow, complete shutdown before a major case of sickness hits.
All I can do is prepare. Day 9 now. Been positive the entire ride but now just exhausted. Ready for the train to stutter and call to attention a get out roll.
Yet I laugh even now. Holding onto the light that is waiting for me.
The silent breaths that I inhale only have them vanish into an exhale escaping tired lungs. So much of me is on fire.
My spine is burning and feels as though someone is using a roller on it. Then to exhale deeply once more the stinging in my chest of stones occurs. All comes down to the liquid fire blazing inside my blood, raging against my nerves.
There is no way to ease things but to manage watching something, listening to music -- suggestions from friends, softly recall low breathing techniques.
By far I am not likely to subject my story to anyone in personal face to face but here I will explain the levels. Yet not today.
Today it is the trials of life and happiness that keep me going even in my blinding moments of this hemi migraine.
Indeed I still smile. Do you want to know why? It is because Jehovah knows I can endure it. That is wonderful news, is it not?
So here I exhale as the green flashes distance me from the writing only to meet up with flashes of reds and blacks.
Truly kindness. Even when I am losing myself inside the devastating hemi I still know relief is there, sleep comes fast afterwards. A good reward.
I know it sounds like I was complaining but no. I was trying to make people understand we all face our own kinds of trials and tribulations. Yet it all matters only how you respond to them, is what I am explaining.
Yes my trials are sometimes difficult but I had training in my youth in how to deal with the difficulties and who really is my friend through it all. Jehovah. Can't say much for humans though.
No offense but I crawl inside myself before I let people see my pain or my frustrations. Much less my tears.
I can't expect anyone to understand but I do know Jehovah does. That is the kindness and love he gives.
Knowing I can endure, loving. Truly.
Rewarding in the end.
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