Softest hints
Boy how life is grandness in the softest of hints. The way it begs only for a smile or a smirk. Maybe even a small laugh or that deep chuckle.
Tiny gasps of time echo inside of me. All exhales demand me to listen to the reckoning. The most supportive one speaks to me. I lean upon him, Jehovah. The only one who I can push against, find instructions and discipline but in the best teaching, loving way. He is the only source who truly understands his child, me.
This is a great comfort in expanding my mind and heart. The kindness that is given to always search for the reality Jehovah shows. Even my blackest parts and all those sketchy gray areas. Truly a blessing to be shown,once more, all the actions I took to free myself from trouble. Soft, kindness. So loving.
All that it took was a small rip in a wide piece of cloth. The hints shown how to expand outward and freeing myself from the binding veil I held over my eyes. Truly priceless is seeing just how capable I am on my own, with Jehovah's support.
Sure being disfellowshipped seems as though it is a punishment but it was the best gift I was given to be shown the real beauty of breaking free of all bad connections. The sweetness I gained from leaping. A pure beauty displayed.
Sure I still hurt over the losses. All of them. Sure I still cry over so many things. I also thoroughly comprehend the "no" given. Yes I am still a woman -an emotional, drama induced (in areas) and overthinking one to boot. I recognize the unfair, injustice pieces of hard work and effort I put towards people and situations. Yet I also recognize I overkilled myself as well. There is no longer a reason to stand waiting for even the slightest of scraps.
The best part of realizing all of this was finding my worth to Jehovah. It is the slowest parts of life but it is my journey. Clean and free.
Sure I will have my days of doubt, maybe even months. Even more so will I have moments where I chide myself well, yet I "get" The lessons. I absorb their meanings.
Best of all was just simply walking away from it all. A sad goodbye in turmoil. Yet it was the sweetest gift I gave myself.
I gave myself -- me, once more.
Tiny gasps of time echo inside of me. All exhales demand me to listen to the reckoning. The most supportive one speaks to me. I lean upon him, Jehovah. The only one who I can push against, find instructions and discipline but in the best teaching, loving way. He is the only source who truly understands his child, me.
This is a great comfort in expanding my mind and heart. The kindness that is given to always search for the reality Jehovah shows. Even my blackest parts and all those sketchy gray areas. Truly a blessing to be shown,once more, all the actions I took to free myself from trouble. Soft, kindness. So loving.
All that it took was a small rip in a wide piece of cloth. The hints shown how to expand outward and freeing myself from the binding veil I held over my eyes. Truly priceless is seeing just how capable I am on my own, with Jehovah's support.
Sure being disfellowshipped seems as though it is a punishment but it was the best gift I was given to be shown the real beauty of breaking free of all bad connections. The sweetness I gained from leaping. A pure beauty displayed.
Sure I still hurt over the losses. All of them. Sure I still cry over so many things. I also thoroughly comprehend the "no" given. Yes I am still a woman -an emotional, drama induced (in areas) and overthinking one to boot. I recognize the unfair, injustice pieces of hard work and effort I put towards people and situations. Yet I also recognize I overkilled myself as well. There is no longer a reason to stand waiting for even the slightest of scraps.
The best part of realizing all of this was finding my worth to Jehovah. It is the slowest parts of life but it is my journey. Clean and free.
Sure I will have my days of doubt, maybe even months. Even more so will I have moments where I chide myself well, yet I "get" The lessons. I absorb their meanings.
Best of all was just simply walking away from it all. A sad goodbye in turmoil. Yet it was the sweetest gift I gave myself.
I gave myself -- me, once more.
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