My warmth
I stand outside long enough to feel the change of the heat. No longer humid just crunchy. I wave my fingers in the air as though feeling the textures of the wind. Calming. I cling to the flavors of the night. My neighbors with their curry spices and the incense that wafts inside my nose. Sweetness as the night light entertains my eyes.
Gently a slow smile creeps up over my pale lips. I hold it there as long as I can until the dreamy state enters my mind. One step back against the door jam. Holding my shoulders to the frame of the door. I lean into the kind aromas that take me back to a moment where leaning on a soft yet firm arm and shoulder.
Just clearing the mind of the all the anxieties I was gaining. A sigh escapes my lips. No wonder I am breathing easy. I didn't think I could feel this deep much less be able to grasp at anything given. And still I see the image flickering around the closed lids.
Slowly I am alert. Recognizing dreams are dreams. Realizing that I must work hard to achieve these dreams to a real point in my life. Though some parts of the dream are not mine to keep I find myself saying thank you over and over. As though a grandness in the gratitude of having to include some in these dreams.
Kind of the weirdness in the ones I could not let loose of this morning. So odd. Yet it just proves that people are never too far from my mind. A small skip of breath presses me to say all is well when in reality I am curious as to why even in my dreams. Especially since all has been written off and over.
This morning like tonight, the comforting shoulder reassured me of my capabilities. The arm around me placed faith in my dreams. Simple I assure you. Yet so complex that the images couldn't just have been imagination fulfilling a void.
Yet all I can do now is go to sleep soon. Forget the warm air slowly cooling. Forget the stars above my head. Forget about the warm embrace that made me see my worth. Forget it all for my memories are mixed up.
Once eyes captivated me. Gray green. Emerald. Yet not so much anymore. It is now just the reassurance I am gaining. No hugs are here to say keep moving. No quirky smirks are sent to push me to a new heightened level. Nothing but sweet memories. Perhaps even a part of laughter.
One day I will ask for a hug. One day the memories will be personal. Real and potent.
But today they are part of the dreams I am working hard to attain once more. Dreams I can't let die because I broke me. Nope. Time to explore and be grateful of the warmth, once.
Gently a slow smile creeps up over my pale lips. I hold it there as long as I can until the dreamy state enters my mind. One step back against the door jam. Holding my shoulders to the frame of the door. I lean into the kind aromas that take me back to a moment where leaning on a soft yet firm arm and shoulder.
Just clearing the mind of the all the anxieties I was gaining. A sigh escapes my lips. No wonder I am breathing easy. I didn't think I could feel this deep much less be able to grasp at anything given. And still I see the image flickering around the closed lids.
Slowly I am alert. Recognizing dreams are dreams. Realizing that I must work hard to achieve these dreams to a real point in my life. Though some parts of the dream are not mine to keep I find myself saying thank you over and over. As though a grandness in the gratitude of having to include some in these dreams.
Kind of the weirdness in the ones I could not let loose of this morning. So odd. Yet it just proves that people are never too far from my mind. A small skip of breath presses me to say all is well when in reality I am curious as to why even in my dreams. Especially since all has been written off and over.
This morning like tonight, the comforting shoulder reassured me of my capabilities. The arm around me placed faith in my dreams. Simple I assure you. Yet so complex that the images couldn't just have been imagination fulfilling a void.
Yet all I can do now is go to sleep soon. Forget the warm air slowly cooling. Forget the stars above my head. Forget about the warm embrace that made me see my worth. Forget it all for my memories are mixed up.
Once eyes captivated me. Gray green. Emerald. Yet not so much anymore. It is now just the reassurance I am gaining. No hugs are here to say keep moving. No quirky smirks are sent to push me to a new heightened level. Nothing but sweet memories. Perhaps even a part of laughter.
One day I will ask for a hug. One day the memories will be personal. Real and potent.
But today they are part of the dreams I am working hard to attain once more. Dreams I can't let die because I broke me. Nope. Time to explore and be grateful of the warmth, once.
Comments
Post a Comment