Someday
There are parts of me that wanted someone to love me, so deeply. So very intensely.
Though I forgot in order for someone to do that for me, I had to love myself too. Just not to the form of an egotistical warrior woman directness. Ah but just the intense sensation of self respect, standards and moral novelty.
And yet when you get to experience that in your lifetime you really gather this sense of what, who will be the one who tackles the person you are. The sightline is so clear upon the one who is willing to take the strides with you, side by side.
Not even wanting to let you go.
Yes that is what I wanted. To feel giddy with this comforting knowledge that I didn't have to fight off anyone else because this one person wanted me there, right beside them.
Even the fact that at times I may outshine them, they NEVER wanted to see my light dim. This gentle hope of when my shine became dull they were there with a rag, an arm and lots of jokes to pull that smile back into my heart, mind and riding upon my face and spirit.
Perhaps too much i hoped for but when you back away from the constant searching. When you lean back into the shadows a bit you see what you really should do for yourself. The waiting is okay as long as you can be sure of the love of yourself.
Corny perhaps but in order to hope for these things you have to be on constant awareness of whether you can be the same to someone else. Can you be the same things you hope from the other. If not this is where toning, training comes into place.
I still hope to find someone who wants to kiss me on my lips. Who dares me to break free of my barriers and demands me to kiss back. Certainly the first hope is to find someone who wants to open my dirty chapters of life, dig inside but never back down. This will be that first challenge.
From that point on nothing is what it seems.
There are so many layers of a person but I hope to find someone who wants me more than his breath in the morning. I want to be that woman who enters his mind and soaks in so much that he does feel necessity to reach out, calling me.
For anyone who knows me, knows I don't call many people. So to have one that makes me want to talk to him, intriguing.
Though so many hopes. So many pieces of me that are scared. Yes scared that there isn't a match of minds. At last I won't question it, when the time arrives.
When the last glass lock is broken. I won't hesitate in being freely the person I locked away.
Sure it's a lot of words but in truth prayers I have held tight for a long time. Kindness is the tears falling on parchment.
And now I shiver with knowing someone reads and begs to know but says nothing. All I can say is a whisper in the wind is easy to hear when all is silent.
One can dream.
Though I forgot in order for someone to do that for me, I had to love myself too. Just not to the form of an egotistical warrior woman directness. Ah but just the intense sensation of self respect, standards and moral novelty.
And yet when you get to experience that in your lifetime you really gather this sense of what, who will be the one who tackles the person you are. The sightline is so clear upon the one who is willing to take the strides with you, side by side.
Not even wanting to let you go.
Yes that is what I wanted. To feel giddy with this comforting knowledge that I didn't have to fight off anyone else because this one person wanted me there, right beside them.
Even the fact that at times I may outshine them, they NEVER wanted to see my light dim. This gentle hope of when my shine became dull they were there with a rag, an arm and lots of jokes to pull that smile back into my heart, mind and riding upon my face and spirit.
Perhaps too much i hoped for but when you back away from the constant searching. When you lean back into the shadows a bit you see what you really should do for yourself. The waiting is okay as long as you can be sure of the love of yourself.
Corny perhaps but in order to hope for these things you have to be on constant awareness of whether you can be the same to someone else. Can you be the same things you hope from the other. If not this is where toning, training comes into place.
I still hope to find someone who wants to kiss me on my lips. Who dares me to break free of my barriers and demands me to kiss back. Certainly the first hope is to find someone who wants to open my dirty chapters of life, dig inside but never back down. This will be that first challenge.
From that point on nothing is what it seems.
There are so many layers of a person but I hope to find someone who wants me more than his breath in the morning. I want to be that woman who enters his mind and soaks in so much that he does feel necessity to reach out, calling me.
For anyone who knows me, knows I don't call many people. So to have one that makes me want to talk to him, intriguing.
Though so many hopes. So many pieces of me that are scared. Yes scared that there isn't a match of minds. At last I won't question it, when the time arrives.
When the last glass lock is broken. I won't hesitate in being freely the person I locked away.
Sure it's a lot of words but in truth prayers I have held tight for a long time. Kindness is the tears falling on parchment.
And now I shiver with knowing someone reads and begs to know but says nothing. All I can say is a whisper in the wind is easy to hear when all is silent.
One can dream.
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