Not alone nor lonely
I look back over the years. Seeing the various changes I have overcome and the trials that I faced. Just so much crud I have tackled and yet I didn't do it alone. I never really felt alone. I think that is the problem I really had.
The rejoicing I gained from family and old friends. Things I have learned in just previous friendships. Relearning who this amazing person was before all crashed down. That is who I search for . That girl that sits relaxed and ready to take on the world.
Perhaps not as valiantly as I once did but I am still welding a good sword, or in my case a book. Ha.
These days I don't sleep much at night. Not that I am a night owl just the issue of insomnia until the wee bits of the sunlight hits and I am so tired.
So many days leading up to today have been long days of work. Good escapes from the harshness of my changes. I have so much I have placed upon my shoulders. And today I realized that I am capable of surpassing so much more.
Though I recognize I am not that spring chicken anymore but I am not the stuffed dead turkey either. Granted I have my days where I feel as though I was the animal that got knocked over by a bus then run over a few times. I recognize my weaknesses. I am grateful that I don't have to give people reasons why my soul is so sluggish.
There is no means to get many involved. I place a smile upon my face and I enjoy each second I am soaring. And then I am grateful for those hard pressed endless days of sleep.
Unlike tonight I am not very tired. I worked ten hours today. Yesterday I worked nine. I proved to myself if I took my pace I can survive. Yet I have a big idea that my soul is going to be EXHAUSTED tomorrow after the supposed short shift. This will be good for I know I do not work again until the weekend. A major bonus, I find.
A small leap of joy and silliness continues deep within my spirit. For sure the giddiness is excellent even in knowing that I may be so weary when I come home tomorrow.
Yet it is a bit of joy to shower the mind with a good amount of exercise and hard work.
Then a long sigh completes the thought. Concluding the sentence. Indeed.
And even in my quiet moments now, I still am alone but not lonely. I thought with the losing of friends and cutting off friendships I would loss some sort of hope. I didn't. I gained a mountain high of dreams. Goals that I will achieve in due time.
So I smile. Like me. Love me. or just walk away. Nevertheless hope for me.
The rejoicing I gained from family and old friends. Things I have learned in just previous friendships. Relearning who this amazing person was before all crashed down. That is who I search for . That girl that sits relaxed and ready to take on the world.
Perhaps not as valiantly as I once did but I am still welding a good sword, or in my case a book. Ha.
These days I don't sleep much at night. Not that I am a night owl just the issue of insomnia until the wee bits of the sunlight hits and I am so tired.
So many days leading up to today have been long days of work. Good escapes from the harshness of my changes. I have so much I have placed upon my shoulders. And today I realized that I am capable of surpassing so much more.
Though I recognize I am not that spring chicken anymore but I am not the stuffed dead turkey either. Granted I have my days where I feel as though I was the animal that got knocked over by a bus then run over a few times. I recognize my weaknesses. I am grateful that I don't have to give people reasons why my soul is so sluggish.
There is no means to get many involved. I place a smile upon my face and I enjoy each second I am soaring. And then I am grateful for those hard pressed endless days of sleep.
Unlike tonight I am not very tired. I worked ten hours today. Yesterday I worked nine. I proved to myself if I took my pace I can survive. Yet I have a big idea that my soul is going to be EXHAUSTED tomorrow after the supposed short shift. This will be good for I know I do not work again until the weekend. A major bonus, I find.
A small leap of joy and silliness continues deep within my spirit. For sure the giddiness is excellent even in knowing that I may be so weary when I come home tomorrow.
Yet it is a bit of joy to shower the mind with a good amount of exercise and hard work.
Then a long sigh completes the thought. Concluding the sentence. Indeed.
And even in my quiet moments now, I still am alone but not lonely. I thought with the losing of friends and cutting off friendships I would loss some sort of hope. I didn't. I gained a mountain high of dreams. Goals that I will achieve in due time.
So I smile. Like me. Love me. or just walk away. Nevertheless hope for me.
Comments
Post a Comment