Thoughts

In these days where the energy is high in the early morning hours, I see why I am an artist. I understand the wackiness of my old schedules and how time doesn't just erase everything.

As much as I want some peace I get into my mind the times when I first heard certain songs and I begin to think about people. Expanding into how I felt with them or around them.

The I feel a sudden jolt of a blocked wall. Painting makes me free the thoughts from the wall. Certainly I really don't want to be thinking about any people early in the mornings.  I mostly just want to go to sleep.

Yet less and less the hours of eyes being closed come. So I do what I used to do - paint, listen to music and clean house. Did my last load of laundry just an hour ago and still no means of sleep.

So I painting more. Finishing off one painting and doing the details on the top of another, while painting the bottom of it afterwards. Such a hope to finish it soon.

Still so many ideas roll through my mind. Those people I thought of today, I just want conversation but then I realize it is just best to have my imagination roll out the conversations because none of those people talk to me anymore.

A bit of kindness when I see the positive in the whole dreary situation. I maintain that I need to finish the painting or I need to skip a song because it is making me linger too long on a memory.

So now, it's 3:33 am and my mind, I hope, settles soon for my short 4 or 6 hours of rest.

Kindness. Lots of prayers and hopes. Dare to dream, yes. Reality is that the dreams are all I have left.

For me I cling to hope.

Yet.
But.

Now just another song to drown out the thoughts. "Coming home Part 2".

So until the next poem in a few minute, I finish this song.

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