Rambling rose
I have come to realize there is not enough time in the day to complete everything I have on a gazillion lists. Then to settle myself for failure in the aspect of not completing a list. Such a scatterbrain. And yet that is what makes me so unique. I have so many brainstorming bubbles that the questions of where is more paper really has a substantial meaning.
As for the moment I am in right now, well I just am soaking in the odd scent of eucalyptus. Sitting here hoping that the shower and the writing will help ease the mind. For I know music and painting did absolutely nothing. All of it was for show and I hated the results.
And still I know I can repaint over it. Completely making something spectacular after disappointment digs inside of me. Though at this moment the questions that arise from my mind are quirky and really have no reason for being even thought of, yet here I am thinking of them.
Indeed.
Why bother thinking when all I do is come back to the list of questions that have yet to be answered? Ah just preparation of hope. Silly I know but nothing really makes any sense to me. I am not really clear on decisions until the last days of being in the mode. The rate of what anything means is quite simple but I have to make everything seem so complex.
Ah but now all I can think of is how bad is my hair going to be if I wash it now and let my eyes fall to sleep. Perhaps nothing of substance in that question but it still hold some priority inside of me. Much like the ones of certain people who are and were in my life.
Though now, I have made complete nonsense be just a bunch of rambling sentences. Making myself extremely sleepy. Time for the shower and the decision.
Then friend, I hope that you understand no matter what memories I hold are dear. No one will take that from me. But I did not say anything but be myself in a work environment. I am not going to voice anything but next time be cautious of people who need materials.
I am not one of them.
I just need life. I need more time. I need hugs. I need love. I need hope. I need positive words. And most of all I need friendships.
Though my bridge is burned but I am listening for surprises. My life here is short and I am not disappointed. I am just living it as I should. Carefully and one day at, the most and least, a time. That is the rule I have now. Be excited whether in pain or not and keep moving. Smile even through tears.
Because today I got to voice me, here.
As for the moment I am in right now, well I just am soaking in the odd scent of eucalyptus. Sitting here hoping that the shower and the writing will help ease the mind. For I know music and painting did absolutely nothing. All of it was for show and I hated the results.
And still I know I can repaint over it. Completely making something spectacular after disappointment digs inside of me. Though at this moment the questions that arise from my mind are quirky and really have no reason for being even thought of, yet here I am thinking of them.
Indeed.
Why bother thinking when all I do is come back to the list of questions that have yet to be answered? Ah just preparation of hope. Silly I know but nothing really makes any sense to me. I am not really clear on decisions until the last days of being in the mode. The rate of what anything means is quite simple but I have to make everything seem so complex.
Ah but now all I can think of is how bad is my hair going to be if I wash it now and let my eyes fall to sleep. Perhaps nothing of substance in that question but it still hold some priority inside of me. Much like the ones of certain people who are and were in my life.
Though now, I have made complete nonsense be just a bunch of rambling sentences. Making myself extremely sleepy. Time for the shower and the decision.
Then friend, I hope that you understand no matter what memories I hold are dear. No one will take that from me. But I did not say anything but be myself in a work environment. I am not going to voice anything but next time be cautious of people who need materials.
I am not one of them.
I just need life. I need more time. I need hugs. I need love. I need hope. I need positive words. And most of all I need friendships.
Though my bridge is burned but I am listening for surprises. My life here is short and I am not disappointed. I am just living it as I should. Carefully and one day at, the most and least, a time. That is the rule I have now. Be excited whether in pain or not and keep moving. Smile even through tears.
Because today I got to voice me, here.
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