Breaking down
It's so hard when you want to keep this work ethic and be cold to people but sometimes you just gotta break down.
I did just that. The first person I told my news to was one of my bosses. The hardest part was just saying it without crying. And I couldn't.
Still keeping quiet where it needs to be. Don't need to drown in any self pity. But I do need some help maintaining some sort of positive flow.
I haven't even told my mother. Actually not ready until I see if I get "fixed". Lawd how that sounds. But not sure how to put it without saying the issue to the world.
I don't need people in my business. Well not anything I don't want them to know. Yet I just want to say something but the life I am in has to be tied tightly.
I stood in the shower crying because of it all overwhelming me. And now I must, just dry my tears and go to bed. Though I hope that time will give good results. Procedures go well and I pull through yet another obstacle.
Though all I can say is I am tired. Just so tired but I keep going. I made a promise. I must keep it.
Even if it brings me to my knees I will keep it. Every step of the way.
Crying. Shaking. Not scared. Just exhausted in the silent notes I make. And right now if any one person is listening I could use a hug.
Yet that is too much to ask for. So I just curl into a ball and fade into sleep.
Good night friends old and new.
I did just that. The first person I told my news to was one of my bosses. The hardest part was just saying it without crying. And I couldn't.
Still keeping quiet where it needs to be. Don't need to drown in any self pity. But I do need some help maintaining some sort of positive flow.
I haven't even told my mother. Actually not ready until I see if I get "fixed". Lawd how that sounds. But not sure how to put it without saying the issue to the world.
I don't need people in my business. Well not anything I don't want them to know. Yet I just want to say something but the life I am in has to be tied tightly.
I stood in the shower crying because of it all overwhelming me. And now I must, just dry my tears and go to bed. Though I hope that time will give good results. Procedures go well and I pull through yet another obstacle.
Though all I can say is I am tired. Just so tired but I keep going. I made a promise. I must keep it.
Even if it brings me to my knees I will keep it. Every step of the way.
Crying. Shaking. Not scared. Just exhausted in the silent notes I make. And right now if any one person is listening I could use a hug.
Yet that is too much to ask for. So I just curl into a ball and fade into sleep.
Good night friends old and new.
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