Just a hope
It is truly tricky when the night becomes this overthinking rampage of images. It is this crave that I have to look in overkill the past times so I can see how to react next time I get hit with it. Clarity is a very fine line when I am dispersing the meanings. Casting off the negativity and really looking inside each moment I have experienced.
Though why even bother?
I really don't even want to begin to understand the levels of that answer. I just do what I need to do to maintain some sort of sanity chip. Though even in the moments where the line is a threadbare I still am searching for all that can be light in darkness.
Like this recent adverse experience I have gained. I thought that stating that I am clearly trying to teach others what they may need to process a day in the life of a retail clerk, those around would not become overly sensitive of such matters. However I have realized that every little part of people today are extremely, overly excitably rude.
I have picked over that experience to the fine grains of salt and found that it just wasn't me. I was not invading someone's space nor their conversation but actually thrust between two people arguing. Oh how I have to step back and be grateful that there was rudeness spoken towards me. So now that I have adjusted the situation I now understand that teaching in a battle of war is just something that one must NEVER do for you learn quite quickly that nothing good comes from it.
Alas the mind just rolls over and over some days like the best film reel that beckons to be recognized. However short lived the moment was, I still treasure it. Because for me every day is another day I get to be helpful to someone else. That is the best gift I can keep on giving.
For certain paths of love I will not be getting again. So its best to put the actions where others can improve from it.
Sure the spirit says don't give up but the heart has been left so far behind I don't even recall where I put it much less if I lost it. There is no point in looking for the sincerity of companionship in that aspect either.
I am only one woman who undisciplined still thinks of her past. Yes it is behind me. I may go over it. Even beg myself to wallow in the times for just moments longer. Only to realize when I do that, I just hurt myself over and over again.
Things are over. Life is moving forward. And me, I make promises and keep them. Maybe just for me but you... I would enjoy making one last promise to you. For I am good at my promises, now.
A lesson I have learned so well. And now, well I just want to see if anyone listens.
Though why even bother?
I really don't even want to begin to understand the levels of that answer. I just do what I need to do to maintain some sort of sanity chip. Though even in the moments where the line is a threadbare I still am searching for all that can be light in darkness.
Like this recent adverse experience I have gained. I thought that stating that I am clearly trying to teach others what they may need to process a day in the life of a retail clerk, those around would not become overly sensitive of such matters. However I have realized that every little part of people today are extremely, overly excitably rude.
I have picked over that experience to the fine grains of salt and found that it just wasn't me. I was not invading someone's space nor their conversation but actually thrust between two people arguing. Oh how I have to step back and be grateful that there was rudeness spoken towards me. So now that I have adjusted the situation I now understand that teaching in a battle of war is just something that one must NEVER do for you learn quite quickly that nothing good comes from it.
Alas the mind just rolls over and over some days like the best film reel that beckons to be recognized. However short lived the moment was, I still treasure it. Because for me every day is another day I get to be helpful to someone else. That is the best gift I can keep on giving.
For certain paths of love I will not be getting again. So its best to put the actions where others can improve from it.
Sure the spirit says don't give up but the heart has been left so far behind I don't even recall where I put it much less if I lost it. There is no point in looking for the sincerity of companionship in that aspect either.
I am only one woman who undisciplined still thinks of her past. Yes it is behind me. I may go over it. Even beg myself to wallow in the times for just moments longer. Only to realize when I do that, I just hurt myself over and over again.
Things are over. Life is moving forward. And me, I make promises and keep them. Maybe just for me but you... I would enjoy making one last promise to you. For I am good at my promises, now.
A lesson I have learned so well. And now, well I just want to see if anyone listens.
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