Brain ticking
I wavered. I weathered. I battled. Now I am exhausted. My heart pounds and my legs are jelly. My spirit is calming the rest of me down.
A night of peace. Another day I survived. Another time I learned many new ideas. And now my mind is heavy. Weighted by a thunder inside my left side.
Turbulence. I shake, I shiver. Then I pray. Seeing that I can push all I like. Hold onto that promise but I will break eventually.
Tomorrow is a blessing. My only day off and I am busy as the worker bee with errands I must do.
Yet the morning will be slow. Cautious almost, for I don't know how restless the soul will be in the night. One can hope that the ravaging cell eating monsters can simmer down, just for a few hours more.
Ah. I must not think in negative tones. I still am alive and breathing.
Just one more procedure in January/February. I hope it is the final answer. A completion to end the saga once again.
My mind does not need to bring tears. Oh how my head will bang against itself. Throwing the nerves into a frenzy.
And still I meditate. Inhale. Exhale. Deep motions. In the hopes of placing what stabs me, to a new location I can bear.
Then placing lotion on chapped hands I save my ache with sweet aroma therapy. Soft, warm vanilla and dark Brazil nut. Peacefully the scent drags the pulsing nerve down to only a butterfly opening. Soon the worn parts of me are rejuvenated.
Only for the time needed until bedtime falls upon me. The silence in sleep. No vivid colors only sepia and gray. A hope.
So loud the brain ticks. Why?
And yet the time waves hello and goodbye in one second. I lay my neck on my hand. The warmth eases the tension. Soon complete tranquility.
And now the spirit sings. Rejoices in the difference. Indeed a moment for me. And I show my smile once more. A grand battle survived and lingering to see how to improve daily.
Ah. Inhale. Exhale. Carry on.
A night of peace. Another day I survived. Another time I learned many new ideas. And now my mind is heavy. Weighted by a thunder inside my left side.
Turbulence. I shake, I shiver. Then I pray. Seeing that I can push all I like. Hold onto that promise but I will break eventually.
Tomorrow is a blessing. My only day off and I am busy as the worker bee with errands I must do.
Yet the morning will be slow. Cautious almost, for I don't know how restless the soul will be in the night. One can hope that the ravaging cell eating monsters can simmer down, just for a few hours more.
Ah. I must not think in negative tones. I still am alive and breathing.
Just one more procedure in January/February. I hope it is the final answer. A completion to end the saga once again.
My mind does not need to bring tears. Oh how my head will bang against itself. Throwing the nerves into a frenzy.
And still I meditate. Inhale. Exhale. Deep motions. In the hopes of placing what stabs me, to a new location I can bear.
Then placing lotion on chapped hands I save my ache with sweet aroma therapy. Soft, warm vanilla and dark Brazil nut. Peacefully the scent drags the pulsing nerve down to only a butterfly opening. Soon the worn parts of me are rejuvenated.
Only for the time needed until bedtime falls upon me. The silence in sleep. No vivid colors only sepia and gray. A hope.
So loud the brain ticks. Why?
And yet the time waves hello and goodbye in one second. I lay my neck on my hand. The warmth eases the tension. Soon complete tranquility.
And now the spirit sings. Rejoices in the difference. Indeed a moment for me. And I show my smile once more. A grand battle survived and lingering to see how to improve daily.
Ah. Inhale. Exhale. Carry on.
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