Nothing is worth it
Sitting here, well toasted, I glanced back over my life. If there was ever something I would take back is working so much for pennies to go on the table.
No sleep and hard work on my feet. Too many jobs to put an ex through school only to have him drop out completely. Then to scramble to manage forty dollars span for a family of 4 for two months.
By grace I don't know how I managed 4 jobs and still was a mom and wife. All I know is I worked myself to near death in so many ways.
This slow degrade of life only to attain some sort of gratification of money. Yet I still couldn't make ends meet.
The lesson it all was I never got to know my kids. Never. I worked immediately after their births just to put milk or food into their bellies, diapers on their bottoms and clothes on their little bodies.
That is my biggest regret if there ever was one.
I only strive my best to explain to people that life really is more important than money. Yes bills do stack up and life has its twists and turns but I can't stress enough what it is like when you miss out on little things like first steps, first words and even the I love yous.
If ever the opportunity to skip out on a big item in life for something a little more softer and genuine do it. But what do I know. I have bills that bite at my backside and not enough money to pay for extra things. And I haven't gone out to eat in a long time, by myself.
But I remember when I did eat out a lot. Sure times were good but life took turns that were harmful. And now I don't feel struck down by the want of eating out or spending too much. For I know life is more precious than anything. And every day I wake up to thank Jehovah for opening my eyes.
Yes I may be in extreme fatigue but I know I am still alive.
Yet I look over my experiences in work and how much I enjoyed them. Sure I would love to move faster now as I did then and be full of energy. But you know what? I am grateful for just surviving the day.
So what is life worth to you?
My mind goes over the once upon a times a lot. Just not to feel bad but to learn. The biggest thing I learned was sometimes you just have to be dirt poor to appreciate the finer parts of life.
So sure, yes, working 4 jobs night and day as well as being a mom, wife and person we were still poor. But not here to dwell on that factor. Just that sometimes to grow and shine you have to be non-existent to realize what is important.
Faith. Family. Friends.
That is what got me through. And today, I barely scrap by because I am still trying to find work that allows me to sit or work from home. And that is okay. I have come to realize what is greater importance now. My health and my creativity.
And I am okay with the struggles that come along. For I know all this is temporary. So just never neglect people who are strong for you nor those who depend on you. Never lose hope and don't let the stress of money overpower your health nor your relationships.
For that is what I scream inside my mind when people "need" more money. Sure I would love to get my hands on just a few thousand dollars to pay off my ex husband and my newly incorporated doctor bills but you know what, that isn't something I can touch.
And as much as it annoys me that my health is a catch 22 in work and staying healthy I still would not beg anyone for a dime. Nor would I be cruel to myself and die trying to pay off something that in the long run will eliminate itself when I do pass.
So there.
Don't ruin yourself over added more titles to yourself. It's stupid especially to add more money in which in the end you never get to spend because you work too much.
Forgo the temptation and be sure to live a little. That is a recommendation from someone who knows. Don't die for something you may not really need. It's simple and quite clear.
Walk away. Nothing is worth it.
No sleep and hard work on my feet. Too many jobs to put an ex through school only to have him drop out completely. Then to scramble to manage forty dollars span for a family of 4 for two months.
By grace I don't know how I managed 4 jobs and still was a mom and wife. All I know is I worked myself to near death in so many ways.
This slow degrade of life only to attain some sort of gratification of money. Yet I still couldn't make ends meet.
The lesson it all was I never got to know my kids. Never. I worked immediately after their births just to put milk or food into their bellies, diapers on their bottoms and clothes on their little bodies.
That is my biggest regret if there ever was one.
I only strive my best to explain to people that life really is more important than money. Yes bills do stack up and life has its twists and turns but I can't stress enough what it is like when you miss out on little things like first steps, first words and even the I love yous.
If ever the opportunity to skip out on a big item in life for something a little more softer and genuine do it. But what do I know. I have bills that bite at my backside and not enough money to pay for extra things. And I haven't gone out to eat in a long time, by myself.
But I remember when I did eat out a lot. Sure times were good but life took turns that were harmful. And now I don't feel struck down by the want of eating out or spending too much. For I know life is more precious than anything. And every day I wake up to thank Jehovah for opening my eyes.
Yes I may be in extreme fatigue but I know I am still alive.
Yet I look over my experiences in work and how much I enjoyed them. Sure I would love to move faster now as I did then and be full of energy. But you know what? I am grateful for just surviving the day.
So what is life worth to you?
My mind goes over the once upon a times a lot. Just not to feel bad but to learn. The biggest thing I learned was sometimes you just have to be dirt poor to appreciate the finer parts of life.
So sure, yes, working 4 jobs night and day as well as being a mom, wife and person we were still poor. But not here to dwell on that factor. Just that sometimes to grow and shine you have to be non-existent to realize what is important.
Faith. Family. Friends.
That is what got me through. And today, I barely scrap by because I am still trying to find work that allows me to sit or work from home. And that is okay. I have come to realize what is greater importance now. My health and my creativity.
And I am okay with the struggles that come along. For I know all this is temporary. So just never neglect people who are strong for you nor those who depend on you. Never lose hope and don't let the stress of money overpower your health nor your relationships.
For that is what I scream inside my mind when people "need" more money. Sure I would love to get my hands on just a few thousand dollars to pay off my ex husband and my newly incorporated doctor bills but you know what, that isn't something I can touch.
And as much as it annoys me that my health is a catch 22 in work and staying healthy I still would not beg anyone for a dime. Nor would I be cruel to myself and die trying to pay off something that in the long run will eliminate itself when I do pass.
So there.
Don't ruin yourself over added more titles to yourself. It's stupid especially to add more money in which in the end you never get to spend because you work too much.
Forgo the temptation and be sure to live a little. That is a recommendation from someone who knows. Don't die for something you may not really need. It's simple and quite clear.
Walk away. Nothing is worth it.
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