Early cries
Early morning cries have me so alert in seconds only to realize that dreams really are the bursting moments of time. Thus having my mind thrashed in a small reprimanding tone.
Ah why did I dream of you? Why? I would have been capable of handling anything else, even drowning in a shark infested waters, better.
The feeling of comfort and loss that eats at me. Ugh how that affects my sleep so severely. Yet even more so are the actions you proved to me. I would never have guessed a positive note. NEVER!
And still I was proven wrong. That is what woke me. Plus my dry throat. But your hug and your kiss on my cheek. That startled me so much that my mind said this is just a dream.
Just a dream.
Saddened by that statement. So much it hurt. So much of it dug truth within me and still a person can have such joy involved too. I shake my head in reaction to those thoughts.
A waking moment.
Sitting here wide awake, trying to secretly shut down any frustration or memory of you, so even chills can throw me back to the slumber of the night.
And still with the chill increasing in my room, I find peace in knowing I haven't completely forgotten you. That warm comfort that holds my soul and spirit. Sure I don't ever except anything. Especially for what I saw in the dream.
I just hope the calm I experienced to remain, even without you. And that is a strong possibility. Though even with a tiny leaps inside of me I really want some portions of this dream to be opened wide in reality.
Then I allow what is real to bite me. Imposing the scare tactic but knowing even the depth of my spirit, yes, parts will happen. Even if they were just in a reoccurring dream.
That I accept.
And yet I have faith more is real that I dreamed. The heart that pounded only moments ago, drown in a soft pitter.
The adrenaline that fought for time in an open wound now is relaxing to a time of healing. Truth is that no matter how much I try to not remember you, the mind tricks me and finds a way of integrating you back into my life.
It doesn't matter what I do. And even as much as the hopes, the dreams scatter and the memories I rejoice and experience pain, I still wouldn't really want you to fade from me. For who you were made me who I am now.
Even though I don't know you now I still recall the good. Even in the days I dwell on the odd times of differences I still am learning from you. All for the better. So that makes me dream of you now, to hope that my goals for you are coming true.
And yet as much as it annoys me that I dreamt of you I am grateful because it makes me understand the importance you still have in my life even though we are strangers.
Funny how remarkable the truth is in that full statement.
Remarkable. Just how you should be.
Ah why did I dream of you? Why? I would have been capable of handling anything else, even drowning in a shark infested waters, better.
The feeling of comfort and loss that eats at me. Ugh how that affects my sleep so severely. Yet even more so are the actions you proved to me. I would never have guessed a positive note. NEVER!
And still I was proven wrong. That is what woke me. Plus my dry throat. But your hug and your kiss on my cheek. That startled me so much that my mind said this is just a dream.
Just a dream.
Saddened by that statement. So much it hurt. So much of it dug truth within me and still a person can have such joy involved too. I shake my head in reaction to those thoughts.
A waking moment.
Sitting here wide awake, trying to secretly shut down any frustration or memory of you, so even chills can throw me back to the slumber of the night.
And still with the chill increasing in my room, I find peace in knowing I haven't completely forgotten you. That warm comfort that holds my soul and spirit. Sure I don't ever except anything. Especially for what I saw in the dream.
I just hope the calm I experienced to remain, even without you. And that is a strong possibility. Though even with a tiny leaps inside of me I really want some portions of this dream to be opened wide in reality.
Then I allow what is real to bite me. Imposing the scare tactic but knowing even the depth of my spirit, yes, parts will happen. Even if they were just in a reoccurring dream.
That I accept.
And yet I have faith more is real that I dreamed. The heart that pounded only moments ago, drown in a soft pitter.
The adrenaline that fought for time in an open wound now is relaxing to a time of healing. Truth is that no matter how much I try to not remember you, the mind tricks me and finds a way of integrating you back into my life.
It doesn't matter what I do. And even as much as the hopes, the dreams scatter and the memories I rejoice and experience pain, I still wouldn't really want you to fade from me. For who you were made me who I am now.
Even though I don't know you now I still recall the good. Even in the days I dwell on the odd times of differences I still am learning from you. All for the better. So that makes me dream of you now, to hope that my goals for you are coming true.
And yet as much as it annoys me that I dreamt of you I am grateful because it makes me understand the importance you still have in my life even though we are strangers.
Funny how remarkable the truth is in that full statement.
Remarkable. Just how you should be.
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