Was it too much to ask

   So much power is pressed on
me. Do I break? No. I bend just
like the river around stone. I wave in
the wind.

   I asked, begged for help
from Jehovah to explain why I am
who I am. Why were you asking
me to be the old person, the one you
knew over a decade ago?

  I walked away from so much
and still you pound me to the ground.
How else can you see the changes
made with blindness? Oh as a person
who has experienced similar, you
were demanding a lie.

  I cannot be the me of old. The
young woman you knew. I need time
to heal. It took you decades to heal over
the betrayal you were given, so why
would you think I would need less?
Because I am younger, stronger? Why?

  Yes I have issues with showing emotions
but has it not occured to you of the
years of a woman, of a mother that takes
on to create the perfected lie? The
harsh reality of bitter abuse will keep
anyone from showing who they really are
for sake of not being torn.

   Yes Jehovah has made progress on
his child, me, still I need more help. Can
you not see the magnitude of positive
change in less than two years?

    All I hope from you is a bit of patience
from me as I build back up all the ways
Jehovah wants me to be. I don't want us
to destroy this newfound relationship. I
certainly hope you feel the same.

   All I can ask of you is to take the blindfold
off to realize the benefits of my learning,
the drastic life changes. All that is impacted
was for the best, in a positive new light.

   Can you not want the same for me, as
you had hoped for yourself? With positive
radiant joy?