A need for a night walk

The need to get out. To run away. To feel the cold,
bitter wind chapping my cheeks to a shocking red.
Oh how just breathing in all crispness, down my
throat and bursting into my lungs.

So grateful that I can get away, if necessary. No need
to explain to anyone what my problem is. No longer
do I need to confide in you for directions. The
moon, the coldness will lead me to some place
warm.

Oh how does my mind need a small ransom to
escape from the heart? To leave off the emotion
at the slamming of the car door. Such vibrant
colors explode in my eyes as the anger slips
outside of me.

Wanted so badly to say something but have
learned all is best to stay silent. To hold inside
for Jehovah to ease away.

Now I need to walk. Being so dark outside, who
do I take? The question of insanity in this weather
is the terrifying look I get from a few. Well would
you accompany me if I asked or would you be like
the rest and complain of my lacking levels of
intelligence?

One day, I hope to feel complete from all the
echoing inside. To finally be able to say I am grand
and truly mean it, not wanting to explain the
partial emptiness. So each day I get
encouragements I am grateful.

Breathe deeply to the point of a yawn. See my
soul comfortable but stiff? One day I can be happy
for acknowledging you. One day. Some day.

For now I have to sit and wait. Watch and observe.
Patience and kindness to play over anger and
frustration. For now, yes.

So the walk has yet to be defined. I sent a message
through wires only to get hit with a brick wall. The
morning it will be to bring forth a calming walk to
erase the indefinite, weighed down questions I ache
to ask. This will be the time I talk to our Father,
Jehovah asking him how to help me.

I hope you join me. If not at least I was a thought
in mind.