Soothing question for you

   Blinking eyes to stay awake only because
I don't want to dream about anything. I don't
want to feel what I felt when I remember
comforting times by you. I don't want to feel
period. Why did you have to ask that of
me? Why did you have to tell me it is okay
to be me?

   Ugh oh why? Does it really matter? Can I
press forward? Yes. Just not sure how to jump
over the history to begin anew. Not looking
behind. Still hear the weight in ears, in mind,
down deep to spirit.

   How do I walk away? Even in my sleep, I want
to learn how to do that. To skip over memories
and recall only happiness. Not to share the
bitterness I currently carry. Only for a moment.
Then Jehovah hears.

    Please bear with me when I stay quiet in the
morning light. Holding self tightly around tiny
waist, in solitude. I would hope that with all that is
open life, time, Jehovah heals me in my weakest
moments.

     Hiding the memories in the back of my mind.
Soon my eyes should shut and control be very
relaxed. I finally hope I feel the tiny smirk
coming over my face as I whisper a name. So
softly that it soothes me to sleep.

     Who did I ask for? Jehovah knows.