In time

Sitting back. Prepping to enjoy what is left of my day.
Hoping that all that has been crashing down upon
me lifts and dissolves so I may be joyous over the
simplest things.

Lifting fingers to focus on letters. Carefully placing to
right keys. The letters form words, sentences that
express me.

All above are possibilities of lessons to enjoy, to
create. Only one memory can halt. Still will I allow
self to wallow in pity, no.

Continuing on and pursuing the right dreams, the
right goals. One day the hopes will be opened and
the pain emptied.

Until that day I keep alert over what might trip this
child, this woman. Keep all at bay. So if you come
across me and see my silence upon you, do not
take offense. For there are many reasons to stay
silent. It may be an issue Jehovah and I are
working on. So please show compassion, open mind
to understanding and have lots of patience because
one day I will be here for you.

Every day, yes, I glimpse back to see where I could
have done better, made better choices but as we all
know hindsight is always 20/20. So the questions of
what could have been done really don't apply. They
are more like how can I improve self now and not
take the turn back to old self.

At times life is a strange mystery. Prayer, hope and
lots of love pushes us through. So my question to
you is: what have you learned to improve self
spiritually?

Did you ask for guidance in a prayer? Did you beg
for forgiveness, being sincere in act, to Jehovah,God?
Did you hope for more spiritual food to press, apply,
absorb into spirit, to life?

All I need are the simple things. A word or two that
places me here, inside your thoughts. I hope only
you understand the differences I have been making.
I pray that you come to know me now better than
you did of person in past.

All I can do now is hope that my dreams come true.
As ironic as that sounds, I do hope. What is left if no
hope, faith in horrid world today?

So now I just want to say, yes love and compassion
are standing close by to help me understand and
press the patience down to my core. An obstacle I
must face to continue. So will you ever be able to
help me? Would you give me the hugs, the words to
encourage every step I take? Would you be here
with, beside me?

I hope. I dream. I believe that, yes, you want to be
here with me. In time.

All that matters now is growth.