A memory of changes

Loss of words. Sitting on a cushion staring out window.
Watching as a memory goes by so fast. One I laugh
at now. How little of independence I had experienced.
Wanted so much to be in your company. So happy
that a chance was given. Still I had hoped for more.
La. Times changes.

How times have severely changed since then. Wanted
so much but never could ask it. Did dare even talk
about all that was wanted. I couldn't say to you,
anything, because I was so shy. I am surprised at
how even though I was different I still was clumped
in group with others. Can only hope negative words
were not spoken about me. Only hope.

Still would you have known anything if you did not
inquire? No no. See you were the one of the few I
allowed in.

Still to this day I laugh at the irony of the whole
memory and how much I have learned. Would I have
changed or traded a moment? Probably not. The
growth that came from it all was the reward I gained.

Would you have traded any of those moments?

Still asking now, I wouldn't dare. Not the person I am
now. Looking forward to when I get to finally to say
to you, all is well.

So much easier to look forward than to wonder about
all things that were hidden. No need to try to figure
out all that was said nor done. Just press forward.

Walk away, yes. Every once in a while when I get low
I stab memory by looking back. Then I realize all was
just a stepping stone to the correct path.

Silence I have been for years. Some say stuck up or
a snob. So few know it is because I observe and am
extremely shy.

So for me to be completely sincerely vocal about all
that has changed me, I am grateful the choices given.
To be able to say that I learned from those who
befriended a stranger. I saw the small glimmer of
light inside the darkness. So thankful someone
saw inside that I too needed help. Gathering that
hope and love does exist is the grand treasure I cling
to.

Now when I recall the memory that created a cynic
I just smile. Giving a strong salute to all that helped
me see. Growing stronger and stronger with Jehovah.

So keep pushing me with encouraging words. Keep
placing arms around me for a grand hug of sorts. Keep
me hoping, dreaming that one day we can talk.

So smile big for me. Give a silly, happy dance for
me. A nod of love to acknowledge the changes. Give
small whispers across the wind. I know I will be
waiting. Listening. Absorbing.