In dreams I loved you

   I loved you. I realized that
now. I told you once. It was not
what you wanted to hear. Sorry I gave
you that information.

   You knew, you understood how
deep I felt. Yet even you asked if
my conscience was at odds. Yes
but how do you cut yourself?

  I reasoned with myself for just
one more moment with you. Just
one more. Craved, needed, wanted.

  So wrong it quaked, shattered
me to my core. Did I regret what
was done? Every minute but
how do you deny your heart,
when you feel for the FIRST time?

   Every day I say I am grateful
for the chance to know that I
was able to love, to hope. Granted
reality hit hard, so worth
saying I know now.

   I remember. I don't deny
I had hoped the choice was me but
I knew that was not even an
option.

   A dream. Yet still I can
close my eyes and recall you, how
I felt. Something treasured.

   I know I will go on. A memory.
         A love. On and on in dreams.