Dare you knock

I still want. I still crave. Yet
now I realize how many times
you pushed me away. Why did I not
see it all those times? Blind?

Obviously doing what you asked
of me - opening my heart, showing
emotion. Ha, the cynical
laugh vibrates.

Still just yesterday I allowed
my mind to roll over those heated
memories. Ugh, I say to myself, now.

My, my why did I crave? Why did
I want? Now, how can I push away
memories? Do I really want even the
bad to disappear? No. How else
could I learn.

How, now, can I see the same steps
you took with me being used with another?
Strength. Please just once - a need of a
hug.

Still waiting. Dare you to knock on my door.