Change, perhaps

   Decorated by a million stars yet
I still wouldn't believe in you enough to
trust.

   Your words are so illuminated
that even those around you wonder if
what is said, is true.

   Oh how I want to see change yet I
still am uncertain if anything is
said, truth coming, radiating from your
pores. If even you are sincere in what is
being explained.

   You, I am sure, can understand
my hesistation towards anything that
explodes from your vocals, thoughts,
fingers.

   Life isn't easy just the hard times
that quake at every turn. Reason why
I try my hardest in wanting/ knowing
to believe change has echoed
throughout your soul.

              Still....

    Many a moments I say oh yes there is
change spoken then others I laugh because
the irony in what is being shown.

    Ah how there are so many quirks
that happen.

    All a dream that I hope soon exits
because I can no longer stand being here
with you, your presence that unnerves
my very soul.

   I pray for my silliness to cease and
that life grows better for everyone. Keeping
in mind the positive even though the harsh
reality sometimes is darkest black. Blasting
coal chunks into air.

   You are those to me. So unexpected
but worthwhile because somewhere down
the line you might actually be worth
something. Maybe not now nor next year
but, perhaps, several to come I will finally
see why, how you helped.

    Maybe not. Not leaning on self
to understand. Close heart, open mind.
Lift up, dust off. Hope and may be there
is change done in the roughness.

    Only wait to see. Soon, I hope.
          Tired of constantly waiting.