Stand tall for Jehovah hears

    Stand clear. Stand tall. The voices have spoken.
Once again the drum rolls and the climax hits. Soon
the thunder will crash and lightning will highlight
the distant cries.

     Grateful for the words Jehovah has given to me.
Shaky at first but I must press on. The voice deep
inside my spirit has stayed silent because of the
tremble of memories. Lost I was but now, thanks
to a turn of events and friends, family I am finding
the road back.

     The sorrow of hurt I hope Jehovah covers, healing
all that I burned. Would it be proper if I addressed
one? Oh Jehovah will push me when it is necessary.
Never should I act on my heart. Yes I know the lure
and the consequences I must reap afterwards. Much
to a small dismay I find myself caught stepping on
my tongue often.

    Oh how the choices I make are slipping. Grooving
back towards the world when I want to be closer to
Jehovah. The sighs of how I can prevent does nothing
if application just stays seated at my feet. The
absorption of the learning must be swallowed. At
first the taste may be bitter and chalky but so much
I will benefit from.

    I get that now. Still I pray for encouragement from
Jehovah. The words that were given soaked deep and
I was very remorseful. The fact of ignoring all sides.
Not wanting to discuss with anyone the emotions,
I let that eat away at me. Almost to the point of
questioning why I am still being loved, why still I
stand in Jehovah's house.

   Yet there is so much I cannot comprehend.
All I do know is that Jehovah loves me. That has to
be all that matters. I cannot let the wedge to be
driven deep inside, to allow the heart to control the
mind.

   Funny how all this makes me just want to sit on
my balcony and listen to the birds chirp or the insects
clicking. Even go as far as to seek out some Chopin
violin classics. Something that draws closure to
the heartstrings. Commanding, demanding that of
a new ruler within my soul. Having my spirit soar
hight for the decisions I make, once more coincide
with Jehovah.

   So serious I sit upon my mattress. So tired yet the
need to correct all that I possibly can weighs a heavy
pained image across my eyelids. The straining to say,
of just pulling myself, with Jehovah's help, out of
the roughness, the pit I have dug or crawling into. Still
I put the concerns upon Jehovah once more so
tonight may end.

   Tomorrow is a fresh day. A step, once more, to
change. So yes I am listening to all those that
Jehovah places before me. To open the mind to the
parts I do know and so much more I do not. Looking
forward to the chords finally opening up once more.
To finally thank Jehovah again. To be able to look
a rare few in the eyes and give thanks without wording
it.

   Tomorrow. Yes. But tonight sleep I must go.
Anything is possible with faith in Jehovah. So I keep
hoping my corrections have been noticed and
one day down the road, receive a trial bond of
friendship.

  Not to push. Just to hope.