Morning to start anew, once again

    The morning has broken. The sky dusky and gray.
Still so much beauty lays awaiting.

    Still a shaky breath is taken. A grateful voice inside
my mind thanks Jehovah.

   So much to be excited about and yet so much calm
places itself inside. The nerves should be quaking
but silent, still they are speaking.

   The moment to destination will come. Will silence
overtake me or will a shy voice emerge? I do not know.
Jehovah will take care of me.

   One by one the step I make today will prove
many things. Still if people are listening is another.
Ah but the conscience will be so crystal that more
step will not become pained.

   First a quest to vocally state what is necessary.
Then breathe. Ah yes Jehovah holds me steady in
that very moment.

    Ah still the first thing is I must raise myself from the
warmth of my covers. All in hopes of being steady.
This I shall hope Jehovah pushes me as I lean more
and more upon him.

    Ah how so much queasiness still lies inside my
body. To purge of the disgust once and for all. Well
this remain until a moment of truth and a voice of
strength in admitting the wrong.

   An acceptance would be nice but often times it
is better not knowing whether acceptance was given
until well later in life. Honestly is all I can give.

   Hope is very much what I can do. Prayer has to
be said. One day all will gain full circle.

   Until then I will try my best to maintain what I have
learned and stand clear of obstructing views of those
whom I have hurt.

    Oh Jehovah the tears that silently fall down my
face. Please Father lift this child so that the day may
begin. I now place all the worries and concerns upon
you. (Philippian 4:6,7 and Psalm 55:22 NWT)

    I now sit upon my mattress not yet smiling but
certain whatever happens later the spirit will shine
on. To me that must be all there is for if there is
more then it all will be a bonus.

    Softly the choice of clothing speaks of who I am,
Who Jehovah loves me to be.  (Isaiah 12:2;
Numbers 6:24 - 26 NWT). From this sight I gain
strength and courage to shine once more. One foot
in front of the other.

    First though the feet must scramble to land on
the carpeted floors. Stumbling is okay. Uncertainty is
possible yet I am leaning against my Father, Jehovah
to gain balance. All that is tight and distorted will
finally be ironed or stretched out. Yes.

   I look forward to that and placing new memories
upon my mind. For now, look, the sun is shining
high in the sky. Yes I am grateful for Jehovah hearing
my prayer.