Long road
I pull myself down this long road. Glancing over my shoulder but once . Holding onto a memory I just want gone. This night lost to all others. Yet here the darkness crowded me the best.
Slowly the unfolding begins and I close my eyes. Hoping that the reality faces up to what should be real. Yet here the long road stands and I with it. Going no where but not standing still either. On a permanent stare but still so much is blinded.
Is that the real part of me? Am I still in this rut and incapable of letting go? I really can't answer that. And as much of me screams inside, with the answer not a single syllable flows.
Kind of a constant stream of oddness thst circles inside my mind . This off way of covering yet exploiting the situation. Like that of a hawk finding prey but still not quite ready to hone in on the pillage.
Though not killing any part of myself that wasn't already deadened. Surprisingly that is many parts. Not once have I felt any inkling for anyone in a enticing way. Just empty of that want.
And with all that tumbles inside my mind, thoughts and memories become refine or shiny. This is the good pieces of me. Yet still I am for the quietness to engulf me. This is what I need.
Peace.
These silent moments where the rolling ball strike the pins and clatter falls between pale turquoise blues. And still watching as the constant biting finds a hook. Placing importance where it needs to be and playing down the wants to a dismal speck.
This is a wonderful moment of complete calm. No one to interrupt and none to corrupt. Finally this grasp of lights and comfort. Yet is it the luxurious comforts , no. Just the spiritual ones to lean into. Jehovah.
So sure just parts of me rattle. Some more than others. Keys jingle inside me as I do finalize the resting places of many thoughts and memories. Finally allowing my peace and quiet to find me well.
Faith is what makes it all happen. And that is where I leave it all. Applying only what is necessary and helping gain. Then to bring out all that can be accomplished. Hope. This is the strength I have to just let go of the past items.
I let go but I never forget. For everything given was a lesson. Life in loving arrangements.
Wondrous indeed.
Slowly the unfolding begins and I close my eyes. Hoping that the reality faces up to what should be real. Yet here the long road stands and I with it. Going no where but not standing still either. On a permanent stare but still so much is blinded.
Is that the real part of me? Am I still in this rut and incapable of letting go? I really can't answer that. And as much of me screams inside, with the answer not a single syllable flows.
Kind of a constant stream of oddness thst circles inside my mind . This off way of covering yet exploiting the situation. Like that of a hawk finding prey but still not quite ready to hone in on the pillage.
Though not killing any part of myself that wasn't already deadened. Surprisingly that is many parts. Not once have I felt any inkling for anyone in a enticing way. Just empty of that want.
And with all that tumbles inside my mind, thoughts and memories become refine or shiny. This is the good pieces of me. Yet still I am for the quietness to engulf me. This is what I need.
Peace.
These silent moments where the rolling ball strike the pins and clatter falls between pale turquoise blues. And still watching as the constant biting finds a hook. Placing importance where it needs to be and playing down the wants to a dismal speck.
This is a wonderful moment of complete calm. No one to interrupt and none to corrupt. Finally this grasp of lights and comfort. Yet is it the luxurious comforts , no. Just the spiritual ones to lean into. Jehovah.
So sure just parts of me rattle. Some more than others. Keys jingle inside me as I do finalize the resting places of many thoughts and memories. Finally allowing my peace and quiet to find me well.
Faith is what makes it all happen. And that is where I leave it all. Applying only what is necessary and helping gain. Then to bring out all that can be accomplished. Hope. This is the strength I have to just let go of the past items.
I let go but I never forget. For everything given was a lesson. Life in loving arrangements.
Wondrous indeed.
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