A glimpse, once

Parts of me jump from the pages. These tiny spoken words singing throughout time and space.  I wonder if I offered you a glimpse inside my life how you would be after. 

And even though there are times I really want to give you a piece of me, something makes me want to hide again. Even more so when I am not clear if the openings are right or if I will be cut deeper than before.

Yet I don't care to lean into any kind of negativity.  I have found what I am supposed to be, who I mean. Sure there are those days where I want to dance circles around what has happened. I even want to curl into a grave at times. 

Yet..

I only learn more about me. The broken pieces are being mended in ways I never thought possible. All the steps and cracks are melting into this glorified truth. Who is Mary? 

And as I go carrying along the desires I still lean more into what is necessary over a mere want. I have come to understand what I am supposed to be doing. In that journey I have found this unending peace within myself. 

Gathering strength from people and place I didn't think possible. Even more so is this unyielding display of love I am shoveling out to people. Oh no, not of compulsion but just being capable of SHOWING them who I am. 

Truth - actions are louder than words. And even more truth is that whatever you don't say is really said. 

No. I am not reading between lines but what is supposed to stay hidden, doesn't . That is the measure of what we sow. 

This is how I know I will get better. Not because I truly know but it is my faith. I truly believe. 

And as my soft, blinding words can be digested I am grateful I didn't open to you. For that clearly wasn't part of the cycle. 

To know I would have given anything to be more of a need than a desire. Yet hindsight is always clearer especially when a person is safely behind a storm door. 

Gladly I walk now. Calm. In harmony with what is necessary to gain the right path. 

And even as my words say nothing to some, others they scream volumes. Which are you?