A return

As much as the thought of returning to Ohio sickened me I come to realize I cannot be selfish when it comes to this decision.

I have held my mother captive from her emotions and family for way too long. Then to find out just how wonderful my family is looking forward to having me closer.

Indeed the weight of cold, snow and invading of my privacy is I also recognize the joy I gain from being on familiar territory.

The places I will go and the adventures I will have seem to outweigh any discomfort I may have. Besides the decision was made when life was completely unclear and I needed to know if worse came, my mother would have the support system she needed to keep going.

And as much as I received good news I am unclear what the future may hold. Yet that isn't what affects me now.

Now is all the excitement gained from going back home, sort of. Not completely ending up where I was born but will find a place to call home soon.

Being who I am, finding out what I am capable of and reaching for the truth inside of me presses me to be clear in knowing I will be just fine.

As for my mother, she will have her family back. She will gain the support she needs and find a resting time. It will be a grand adventure for me and a reentrance for my mother.

This is why I am not sad about leaving North Carolina. No connections here. And Ohio, much more gained in so many ways.

My mother may never know why I chose to return but she will know that I did it all for love. And that is all she will ever need to know.

See I am not always a spoiled bratty woman. I do selfless actions all the time. Just not to those who thought they knew me nor those who craved to crack me.

All I can do for them is have compassion. Send lots of love and hold many prayers just for them. Because I know I will be okay, them not so much.

Differences.