Recognizing
More and more I sit in the kingdom hall I feel safer from the world. Recognizing that I didn't feel the significance very much in past. Except those days when my mother and I clashed on spiritual decision.
Though now that she knows my whole story, even the pain of her beloved daughter, she has finally understood the depth of my chilliness. She has accepted me as Mary and her child that wants to follow Jehovah.
That is the best feeling ever. When those who opposed you for so long, who didn't want to listen to your pain finally have opened their ears.
Therapy and prayers have made the stronger. Jehovah has done that. Granted, at first I didn't do anything to help him give me strength. Yet even now I have my moments where I am this stubborn child. Then I realize just like David I didn't get where I am on my own. Jehovah helped me.
And still ongoing in therapy and meditation I keep finding my happiness within myself. Though I understand I have much to work on. So much opening of life. I am learning to love people again. Even those who are gone, for their deeds, so I can move forward WITHOUT baggage.
Sure I will still have some, even damaging pieces, but they are reminders to me - for growth and reminders.
Yet as I sat in the kingdom hall this morning, seated- disfellowshipped, I still felt like I belonged in that safe haven. But now I understand, there are protections I am strong enough to hold at bay.
And even in the moment I get up and keep going into the day I realize more and more the precious gifts in a breath. How about you? Are you grateful to be here, just breathing? Are you thankful for the morning and to open your eyes?
If you take those moments forgranted then maybe you need to step back a moment and look at how God views your life. Meditate over it and find the answer.
I cannot guide you but I will pray for you. For I am still hoping for myself to be corrected by Jehovah.
So find the peace you seek and feel the joy, the love and that is the happiness soaring inside of your spirit.
Though now that she knows my whole story, even the pain of her beloved daughter, she has finally understood the depth of my chilliness. She has accepted me as Mary and her child that wants to follow Jehovah.
That is the best feeling ever. When those who opposed you for so long, who didn't want to listen to your pain finally have opened their ears.
Therapy and prayers have made the stronger. Jehovah has done that. Granted, at first I didn't do anything to help him give me strength. Yet even now I have my moments where I am this stubborn child. Then I realize just like David I didn't get where I am on my own. Jehovah helped me.
And still ongoing in therapy and meditation I keep finding my happiness within myself. Though I understand I have much to work on. So much opening of life. I am learning to love people again. Even those who are gone, for their deeds, so I can move forward WITHOUT baggage.
Sure I will still have some, even damaging pieces, but they are reminders to me - for growth and reminders.
Yet as I sat in the kingdom hall this morning, seated- disfellowshipped, I still felt like I belonged in that safe haven. But now I understand, there are protections I am strong enough to hold at bay.
And even in the moment I get up and keep going into the day I realize more and more the precious gifts in a breath. How about you? Are you grateful to be here, just breathing? Are you thankful for the morning and to open your eyes?
If you take those moments forgranted then maybe you need to step back a moment and look at how God views your life. Meditate over it and find the answer.
I cannot guide you but I will pray for you. For I am still hoping for myself to be corrected by Jehovah.
So find the peace you seek and feel the joy, the love and that is the happiness soaring inside of your spirit.
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