Misunderstandings
Long pieces of the night are exposed to misunderstandings. Clearly I want people to understand I don't hate any person. I strongly dislike those who bully and are aggressively mean. And with that couples with how people address me. By far I am not superior nor am I the underdog. I am right where I need to be to maintain myself in moral standings.
By far am I perfect. So far from that line. Yet I have overcome great tests to be where I am today. Still there is much more to be endured. I understand that to great depth. And although I am at peace with my landing, a great unrest can turn the corner and smack me. Surprisingly I have thought a great many scenarios.
I have seen a bully or an aggressive path even a narcissistic person demand my life and several others. It's quite damaging to all parties involved, even that of the offender. In the long silences I have, I have come to understand I just don't sit well with certain people.
I learned long ago that I would rather have in my mind those who dislike me for then I knew I wouldn't have to wait for their approval. I could carry on the day as the way I know I should. Understanding fire could assault me at any time. And I was okay with carrying on.
But of recent I don't have grudges. I don't carry unforgiven things around. Life is just too short to let went up emotions to cut you. It's damaging to all parts of your soul. The spirit gets drowned. The limbs and organs get dirtied. The mind become muddled. Truly no one is worth that kind of torture, pain nor hate.
Though all I carry are memories. Things I don't forget but there isn't the same emotions anymore. Just lots of questions. Accepting there will be no answers that is how my mind simmers. No need to press me to ask for more expanding explosions in my heart and mind. For I only know that the mind is capable of severing the heart.
To understand that phrase you will have had to experience parts of my life. Maybe not so much as to be in my life or to have known me through it. Just have been through something similar. Just the slightest and depth is there.
Hatred was me of the past. I have seen so much discourse from anger and animosity that the humid stench can tear worlds apart. And I have done that. I have torn people, places and things apart for what? Momentary relief, gain? Now I realize nothing of importance.
Ah just so much blackness, negativity left there. Leaving it drowning, washing away. Memories stay as cold hard facts of my actions but also of love in a lesson given.
Indeed such bliss that I now understand, fully, I am just not a match for everyone. Our lifestyles, our choices, our personalities just crash and sometimes burn. But there are the rare few who remain. Hmm. Special.
As for now, I maintain distance only for protection because in am still relearning more about love and patience. Not my time yet. But no bullies this time. Hmm
By far am I perfect. So far from that line. Yet I have overcome great tests to be where I am today. Still there is much more to be endured. I understand that to great depth. And although I am at peace with my landing, a great unrest can turn the corner and smack me. Surprisingly I have thought a great many scenarios.
I have seen a bully or an aggressive path even a narcissistic person demand my life and several others. It's quite damaging to all parties involved, even that of the offender. In the long silences I have, I have come to understand I just don't sit well with certain people.
I learned long ago that I would rather have in my mind those who dislike me for then I knew I wouldn't have to wait for their approval. I could carry on the day as the way I know I should. Understanding fire could assault me at any time. And I was okay with carrying on.
But of recent I don't have grudges. I don't carry unforgiven things around. Life is just too short to let went up emotions to cut you. It's damaging to all parts of your soul. The spirit gets drowned. The limbs and organs get dirtied. The mind become muddled. Truly no one is worth that kind of torture, pain nor hate.
Though all I carry are memories. Things I don't forget but there isn't the same emotions anymore. Just lots of questions. Accepting there will be no answers that is how my mind simmers. No need to press me to ask for more expanding explosions in my heart and mind. For I only know that the mind is capable of severing the heart.
To understand that phrase you will have had to experience parts of my life. Maybe not so much as to be in my life or to have known me through it. Just have been through something similar. Just the slightest and depth is there.
Hatred was me of the past. I have seen so much discourse from anger and animosity that the humid stench can tear worlds apart. And I have done that. I have torn people, places and things apart for what? Momentary relief, gain? Now I realize nothing of importance.
Ah just so much blackness, negativity left there. Leaving it drowning, washing away. Memories stay as cold hard facts of my actions but also of love in a lesson given.
Indeed such bliss that I now understand, fully, I am just not a match for everyone. Our lifestyles, our choices, our personalities just crash and sometimes burn. But there are the rare few who remain. Hmm. Special.
As for now, I maintain distance only for protection because in am still relearning more about love and patience. Not my time yet. But no bullies this time. Hmm
Comments
Post a Comment