Forgranted
It's really something when you take forgranted all the things you did have before life changes. Friendships, love and freedom.
Yet as I see it l now I am more happy that I realize my loss. In some cases the great loss of friendships helped me understand the more important things in life. Those are the greatest losses you can gain. Through them you learn about yourself in goodness and badness. You find your lightest days and those ones hidden so far in darkness, at one time they scared you greatly.
But to own all parts of you, now that is great technique. Owning up to all that you have done good and bad. What is even greater is wanting and achieving the changes you need to take to turn around. Taking in stride that time is part of the key but the main point is application.
To be thankful for the imperfections you have and learn from all aspects of your life. But what is even more gracious is to recognize that you can change.
Those are the steps towards peace and happiness that ONLY you can bring to yourself.
For me the hardest thing to do was to walk away from friendships and all the love. That is what I needed to see my blackest pieces. So far burnt I had been. Unable to tell many, just a piece of me, was the most damaging part. Through months of intensive sessions of therapy I was capable of breaking free.
Sure I damaged a lot of people when I was walking away. In doing so I know those bridges have been destroyed. A part of me I would like to erase. Yet it is a part of me, my story.
As the opening of myself many charactistics of me are now displayed. I am private but I will open to people about what happened to me. I am not afraid I will hurt anyone anymore. Especially myself.
And as selfish as that sounds, I know I should have had undergone this procedure decades ago. Yet doing so in the last year,I have seen my damage path. What, like a tornado, I ate to spin.
When you just sit and meditate over this, you begin to understand aspects of experiences told by others. Even more so as I began to see the rough edges of myself I began to question was I ever going to be good enough for Jehovah.
With that thought still lingering inside of me until a few months back, I cannot be afraid of the what ifs. I need to maintain the positive view of Jehovah wanting me back.
Still in my moments of great dislike of my health issues I wonder if I am forgivable for missing a meeting. That is my fellowship I gain as extra encouragement to keep going. When I miss because too weak or incapable of seeing, walking I feel so guilty and berate myself. Then a prayer eases my concern.
Still that recognition of the weight is something I am grateful for. These pieces that I have found to help me go back to the Bible for encouragement.
I just have to say that the bridges I burned have taught me a multitude about who I am, how I survived monstrosities and how to be grateful for the tiniest of things. Whether it be an ant crawling across my arm, a bee collecting pollen or just a rain drop making ripples in a puddle they all are a great significance in my life.
Those who I want to erase cannot be but they are no longer a part of my life. But, but Jehovah is. It is he, who matters.
As I make my journey attaining my goals I set with Jehovah, I explore new ways to be different. No longer afraid of my past, I know I just don't want it to destroy the progress of now.
So I keep making the light outshine the darkness. Something I might have to do the rest of my life, but Jehovah is worth it.
What about you?
Yet as I see it l now I am more happy that I realize my loss. In some cases the great loss of friendships helped me understand the more important things in life. Those are the greatest losses you can gain. Through them you learn about yourself in goodness and badness. You find your lightest days and those ones hidden so far in darkness, at one time they scared you greatly.
But to own all parts of you, now that is great technique. Owning up to all that you have done good and bad. What is even greater is wanting and achieving the changes you need to take to turn around. Taking in stride that time is part of the key but the main point is application.
To be thankful for the imperfections you have and learn from all aspects of your life. But what is even more gracious is to recognize that you can change.
Those are the steps towards peace and happiness that ONLY you can bring to yourself.
For me the hardest thing to do was to walk away from friendships and all the love. That is what I needed to see my blackest pieces. So far burnt I had been. Unable to tell many, just a piece of me, was the most damaging part. Through months of intensive sessions of therapy I was capable of breaking free.
Sure I damaged a lot of people when I was walking away. In doing so I know those bridges have been destroyed. A part of me I would like to erase. Yet it is a part of me, my story.
As the opening of myself many charactistics of me are now displayed. I am private but I will open to people about what happened to me. I am not afraid I will hurt anyone anymore. Especially myself.
And as selfish as that sounds, I know I should have had undergone this procedure decades ago. Yet doing so in the last year,I have seen my damage path. What, like a tornado, I ate to spin.
When you just sit and meditate over this, you begin to understand aspects of experiences told by others. Even more so as I began to see the rough edges of myself I began to question was I ever going to be good enough for Jehovah.
With that thought still lingering inside of me until a few months back, I cannot be afraid of the what ifs. I need to maintain the positive view of Jehovah wanting me back.
Still in my moments of great dislike of my health issues I wonder if I am forgivable for missing a meeting. That is my fellowship I gain as extra encouragement to keep going. When I miss because too weak or incapable of seeing, walking I feel so guilty and berate myself. Then a prayer eases my concern.
Still that recognition of the weight is something I am grateful for. These pieces that I have found to help me go back to the Bible for encouragement.
I just have to say that the bridges I burned have taught me a multitude about who I am, how I survived monstrosities and how to be grateful for the tiniest of things. Whether it be an ant crawling across my arm, a bee collecting pollen or just a rain drop making ripples in a puddle they all are a great significance in my life.
Those who I want to erase cannot be but they are no longer a part of my life. But, but Jehovah is. It is he, who matters.
As I make my journey attaining my goals I set with Jehovah, I explore new ways to be different. No longer afraid of my past, I know I just don't want it to destroy the progress of now.
So I keep making the light outshine the darkness. Something I might have to do the rest of my life, but Jehovah is worth it.
What about you?
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