Names can be intimidating
I thought I would be intimidated by names and such but not now. I have learned a great bit of change. As for being jumpy, still yes but life becomes ever revolving. Days become bigger. Light in turbulence helps me overcome.
So sure standing in a room full of people I once knew just a little overpowering. Yet I still must overcome any tidbit of death in the exercise. Each part of recovery involves that. I know I have a long road to go on and some parts downright scary.
Parts of life finds me standing still, frozen almost. Other aspects of time I am moving at a steady rate of speed. When I thought I could not be in the same room with someone, I just exhaled.
We are in an imaginary room no need to speak. And some even kick me out. I come right back because I know I did nothing wrong. Just coasting along until my laundry is done.
Besides it's not like I can knock on doors. Long ago maybe. But these days I stay in my neck of the woods and go to my secular job. Making the day worthwhile. Continuing to prepare for July. A major trip coming, permanently.
Yet right I do give my prayers to those who think I am petty. I can talk in civilized situations. I can also give respected space to those who need it. But most wouldn't see the changes. Yet that is not for me to approve. I must go on improving where I need to. Even if stains on my name remain. I can deal with it because that isn't all life is about.
There are so many instances good overpowered bad in my life. Yet right at this very moment memories overcome me. Good ones in all aspects. As I recognize I am damaging to some, still.
Even as I step away, running in the other direction I still am not doing things towards negative aspects. All is coming to full circle in its own way. Then the one day I bump into people of old I will smile and be grateful they once were in my life. That is how life falls these days.
So smile for a moment. Even if it is to recall the uncomfortable moments. For they help us grow and change for the better.
So sure standing in a room full of people I once knew just a little overpowering. Yet I still must overcome any tidbit of death in the exercise. Each part of recovery involves that. I know I have a long road to go on and some parts downright scary.
Parts of life finds me standing still, frozen almost. Other aspects of time I am moving at a steady rate of speed. When I thought I could not be in the same room with someone, I just exhaled.
We are in an imaginary room no need to speak. And some even kick me out. I come right back because I know I did nothing wrong. Just coasting along until my laundry is done.
Besides it's not like I can knock on doors. Long ago maybe. But these days I stay in my neck of the woods and go to my secular job. Making the day worthwhile. Continuing to prepare for July. A major trip coming, permanently.
Yet right I do give my prayers to those who think I am petty. I can talk in civilized situations. I can also give respected space to those who need it. But most wouldn't see the changes. Yet that is not for me to approve. I must go on improving where I need to. Even if stains on my name remain. I can deal with it because that isn't all life is about.
There are so many instances good overpowered bad in my life. Yet right at this very moment memories overcome me. Good ones in all aspects. As I recognize I am damaging to some, still.
Even as I step away, running in the other direction I still am not doing things towards negative aspects. All is coming to full circle in its own way. Then the one day I bump into people of old I will smile and be grateful they once were in my life. That is how life falls these days.
So smile for a moment. Even if it is to recall the uncomfortable moments. For they help us grow and change for the better.
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