Trails broken
My hatred for her is not just skin deep. The depth is so much further. She scarred me for life. Yet I have forgiven her because that is the only way I can go forward in life. I don't allow myself to maintain that "victim" routine. It gets old fast. Its worse and sad when someone repeats it in life.
Now many tell me to forget the trail I fell on being around her. I have to say I did forget how I got there. I certainly don't want to settle on the stone step awaiting for the next hit. So here I explored the grassy areas and leaped across riverbeds. Searching for a better way to live.
Yet I can't help to want to be a part of her life. Just a small part that says I was helpful. Yet I really pray I am forgotten soon afterwards. Ah the conflict that arises each time. The weights that pull down a person.
Though I know I was a problem in bits of the pathway but I will not continue to apologize for something that is long ago. I have begun new. I know she will never admit her part and I have accepted I will never hear one peep out of her, the judgmental review she placed upon my life. How dare the assumptions.
And as much as life pushes and pulls I don't say I hate. I may dislike the environment and the taste that is still regurgitates but I have forgotten the person that was there, playing the parts. Life changes us. Life and Jehovah moves us.
This is part of my life now. I craved friendships, once upon a time. Even acceptance. Now I just lean on Jehovah. Best friend a woman could ever have.
My journey is just beginning. Things are moving. Lanes are speeding up. Distances are made. Granting me this one hope. Freedom of all the psychological taunting, teasing. A true blessing.
Finally this moment to be true to me, just as Jehovah sees me. My own.
Now many tell me to forget the trail I fell on being around her. I have to say I did forget how I got there. I certainly don't want to settle on the stone step awaiting for the next hit. So here I explored the grassy areas and leaped across riverbeds. Searching for a better way to live.
Yet I can't help to want to be a part of her life. Just a small part that says I was helpful. Yet I really pray I am forgotten soon afterwards. Ah the conflict that arises each time. The weights that pull down a person.
Though I know I was a problem in bits of the pathway but I will not continue to apologize for something that is long ago. I have begun new. I know she will never admit her part and I have accepted I will never hear one peep out of her, the judgmental review she placed upon my life. How dare the assumptions.
And as much as life pushes and pulls I don't say I hate. I may dislike the environment and the taste that is still regurgitates but I have forgotten the person that was there, playing the parts. Life changes us. Life and Jehovah moves us.
This is part of my life now. I craved friendships, once upon a time. Even acceptance. Now I just lean on Jehovah. Best friend a woman could ever have.
My journey is just beginning. Things are moving. Lanes are speeding up. Distances are made. Granting me this one hope. Freedom of all the psychological taunting, teasing. A true blessing.
Finally this moment to be true to me, just as Jehovah sees me. My own.
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