Fragile rain
Say you knew me. Did you want to know me? I have lived a long life before you came into my doorway. The gravity of the time has asked how you stand before me. Yet even I wonder why. I don't say a word. I just wait for actions to be said.
My life has be careful. Not in the sense of fragile. I have lived hard and understand a great many depths of words. I may not speak in levels that put me in your company but I get the truth in a lone sentence.
Even a moment where life places you outside a home. Just looking, craving the warmth. I too get that. I hear, feel everything. At the worst times I feel the grave mistakes and the shoving away tensions. In the best times I hear the joy that rings in the vocals. I feel the peace in the vibrations of skin.
Careful how you say your words. I hear every dream you have. I so often pray to rid of this sense. I try even to null the abrupt chastising. Yet nothing compares to the coldness even in a hot company. That is some harsh experience to feel. Even to play it cool and joke about something. For the environment is so intense that rain seems to be the only thing that washes me free and clear of distrust.
Then I sigh.
Yes I get many different things. I understood so many levels but I could not please much less explain the environment. I just pretended not to care nor notice the changes. For explaining the differences would only complicate all of you.
Dare I even explain now. Only here.
I noticed what was wanted. I noticed the careful precautions. I noticed the slight of sigh or annoyance. I saw it all. And that day I was with you last I heard the shoving me out exasperation. I understood I was in the way of something.
Give me an espresso. Maybe I will get along out the door. I understood the pressure of my silence seated on gray cushions. I got the good bye so well. I just didn't want to let it show on my face, inside my eyes.
And today. Yes I see the joy of your gifts. I see the connecting the dots of players. I understand the distance I needed. I soar.
Even more so now I get the levels. I get your peeled layers. The remarks and the simple ways of life you continue to pursue. The hope of completion. I understood that years ago. I wanted to be there for that. Yet I won't.
That is something I truly incorporate into my fibers. Down to the core of my soul. Not dividing my spirit anymore. This is the kindness in getting people. This is the kindness of the rain. The clean wash of a person.
So you want to know why I love the rain so much? Yes it is calming but more than that. I actually can be me and not pay attention to others. I can feel the neutrality of life. The senses are watered down and dissolving. That is why I love kissing in the rain. That is why I find a way to dance in the rain. This is why jumping in the puddles is exhilarating. This is why pictures of nature in the rain or dew, rain drops cover is so beautiful.
Rain eliminates all for a brief time so I can finally show people who I am without any repercussions. That is the grandness of life. Though is anyone listening? Not really.
But at least I got to be clear on who I am.
More than I can say now.
So maybe one day in the rain you will see who I am. A woman who loves real love, hopes for a clearing and enjoys being friends without weights of understandings.
My life has be careful. Not in the sense of fragile. I have lived hard and understand a great many depths of words. I may not speak in levels that put me in your company but I get the truth in a lone sentence.
Even a moment where life places you outside a home. Just looking, craving the warmth. I too get that. I hear, feel everything. At the worst times I feel the grave mistakes and the shoving away tensions. In the best times I hear the joy that rings in the vocals. I feel the peace in the vibrations of skin.
Careful how you say your words. I hear every dream you have. I so often pray to rid of this sense. I try even to null the abrupt chastising. Yet nothing compares to the coldness even in a hot company. That is some harsh experience to feel. Even to play it cool and joke about something. For the environment is so intense that rain seems to be the only thing that washes me free and clear of distrust.
Then I sigh.
Yes I get many different things. I understood so many levels but I could not please much less explain the environment. I just pretended not to care nor notice the changes. For explaining the differences would only complicate all of you.
Dare I even explain now. Only here.
I noticed what was wanted. I noticed the careful precautions. I noticed the slight of sigh or annoyance. I saw it all. And that day I was with you last I heard the shoving me out exasperation. I understood I was in the way of something.
Give me an espresso. Maybe I will get along out the door. I understood the pressure of my silence seated on gray cushions. I got the good bye so well. I just didn't want to let it show on my face, inside my eyes.
And today. Yes I see the joy of your gifts. I see the connecting the dots of players. I understand the distance I needed. I soar.
Even more so now I get the levels. I get your peeled layers. The remarks and the simple ways of life you continue to pursue. The hope of completion. I understood that years ago. I wanted to be there for that. Yet I won't.
That is something I truly incorporate into my fibers. Down to the core of my soul. Not dividing my spirit anymore. This is the kindness in getting people. This is the kindness of the rain. The clean wash of a person.
So you want to know why I love the rain so much? Yes it is calming but more than that. I actually can be me and not pay attention to others. I can feel the neutrality of life. The senses are watered down and dissolving. That is why I love kissing in the rain. That is why I find a way to dance in the rain. This is why jumping in the puddles is exhilarating. This is why pictures of nature in the rain or dew, rain drops cover is so beautiful.
Rain eliminates all for a brief time so I can finally show people who I am without any repercussions. That is the grandness of life. Though is anyone listening? Not really.
But at least I got to be clear on who I am.
More than I can say now.
So maybe one day in the rain you will see who I am. A woman who loves real love, hopes for a clearing and enjoys being friends without weights of understandings.
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