Fierce storm
I am so scared of my words right now. I am shouting this internal, fierce storm. Trying so hard to just allow everything to fall from my mind. Down to paper or computer. The nights just unravel and I crave so badly, this answer to one question.
Yet am I ready for that answer?
I have to allow all to unfold. I have to let my emotions send shock waves throughout my soul. Quaking the spirit with jolts of lightning. I have tried so hard to keep all of me closed off, up. So much for vanity.
The mind just tortures me so. The necessity to remain silenced. Yet I am wondering about so many different things. I don't say much. I just let it go here. To have said anything may have caused the rip tide to rock the beach. And I am standing right in its path.
And as scared and daunting the over take is, I still am unwavering. I realize it is too late for much. Too far gone for many things. And still there are moments where I want so badly to retraces those steps.
Here I am learning. Laying down all that I am with wary eyes, ready for a battle to be born. Uncertain how I will be allowed a cancellation of emotions, of fears I just keep moving towards the fierce roar. So then it is possible to be open, carefree of the instant pride.
I stand here with no pride, no ego. Just a person. A woman who loves. Who wants this grand joy that is deep within her, to be seen everywhere. And still I leap when I hear your name, your voice. Surely it is still a weakness inside of me.
Probably will be for a long time. A sensitive reminder of how careful I must be with the emotions I have. Not pursuing the hopes of a romantic. Definitely placing the understanding of reality before a dream. Perhaps the down trodden moments of the kicking of truth inside of me, will make me fully comprehend the measures I need to steer with.
Indeed a way to look at the storm, the rip tide and the torturing mind. Do not lean upon my own understand as it is commanded. Just listen and hear. Then transform to be a doer and not just a planner.
Hmm.
Yet am I ready for that answer?
I have to allow all to unfold. I have to let my emotions send shock waves throughout my soul. Quaking the spirit with jolts of lightning. I have tried so hard to keep all of me closed off, up. So much for vanity.
The mind just tortures me so. The necessity to remain silenced. Yet I am wondering about so many different things. I don't say much. I just let it go here. To have said anything may have caused the rip tide to rock the beach. And I am standing right in its path.
And as scared and daunting the over take is, I still am unwavering. I realize it is too late for much. Too far gone for many things. And still there are moments where I want so badly to retraces those steps.
Here I am learning. Laying down all that I am with wary eyes, ready for a battle to be born. Uncertain how I will be allowed a cancellation of emotions, of fears I just keep moving towards the fierce roar. So then it is possible to be open, carefree of the instant pride.
I stand here with no pride, no ego. Just a person. A woman who loves. Who wants this grand joy that is deep within her, to be seen everywhere. And still I leap when I hear your name, your voice. Surely it is still a weakness inside of me.
Probably will be for a long time. A sensitive reminder of how careful I must be with the emotions I have. Not pursuing the hopes of a romantic. Definitely placing the understanding of reality before a dream. Perhaps the down trodden moments of the kicking of truth inside of me, will make me fully comprehend the measures I need to steer with.
Indeed a way to look at the storm, the rip tide and the torturing mind. Do not lean upon my own understand as it is commanded. Just listen and hear. Then transform to be a doer and not just a planner.
Hmm.
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