I "get" me
I suppose a woman should be happy of the dropping of weight. Yet this is a grand loss. Ten pounds in less than a week. Correcting my eating habits and focusing on what really is important. Indeed the smallest steps that create the biggest results.
A release of stress. The exact moment of release, the saying of good bye found me down for only a day or two. Realizing if I was the important part of a life I would have been more of the object of affection not the annoyance.
When you realize you were not the a friend but a stranger with great memories the feeling hits you hard. Especially when no one really calls you but spends hours on the phone with others. Then to top off all things is that you only get spoken to in the morning while all else sleep or when a night of loneliness comes. It kind of bites you hard.
So yeah I may have been so freaking quiet and out there only because that was the pressure you placed at my feet. I wasn't important enough for you to be the one you called for friendship. I wasn't the one who you asked out on dates. I just wasn't that woman.
It stings. It rips.
Alas the day I drove you to the breaking point. Yes I did it on purpose. I deserved better than what I had gotten and I am grateful I played my part of a bitch. It was necessary. It was the best and the worst day of my life. Liberating on a grand scale and deadly on a emotional level. Yet I did it. I pushed you so far, I made you make a choice.
And you did.
I wasn't it.
So yeah it stung but I changed. And now I have kept going. Sure there are days where the mind asks "wonder what he is doing" or "what piece is he working on now". Yet I just keep replacing those questions with nature. Asking things about nature or putting myself where I won't think period.
All the gentle laughter and small trails of tears I am picking up and relaying the objectives. Its fun. See I can move and don't need anyone to be inside my circle. I am not lonely. I have plenty of pieces to correct. I am focusing on me.
What I should have done long before I lingered in a forest green. Indeed. My small defeats but good lessons I have gained. Knowing my worth is better than any friendship. Realizing strangers become friends and friends were glorified strangers.
Indeed a sigh that settles. Now the movie of choice is playing and I am laughing, crying and loving. Interesting how the depth is true. Umrao Jaan. More than you ever could peel back my layers.
Not many could. Some even got scared to look, to learn. Sadly to say you did too. Oh well. Depth is growth. Yet some can't "get it" on all levels. I never asked that. Just the first 5 layers, I hoped you would get me. And you didn't. It was all misunderstood.
No worries. Too late to learn now. Because good bye was said.
A release of stress. The exact moment of release, the saying of good bye found me down for only a day or two. Realizing if I was the important part of a life I would have been more of the object of affection not the annoyance.
When you realize you were not the a friend but a stranger with great memories the feeling hits you hard. Especially when no one really calls you but spends hours on the phone with others. Then to top off all things is that you only get spoken to in the morning while all else sleep or when a night of loneliness comes. It kind of bites you hard.
So yeah I may have been so freaking quiet and out there only because that was the pressure you placed at my feet. I wasn't important enough for you to be the one you called for friendship. I wasn't the one who you asked out on dates. I just wasn't that woman.
It stings. It rips.
Alas the day I drove you to the breaking point. Yes I did it on purpose. I deserved better than what I had gotten and I am grateful I played my part of a bitch. It was necessary. It was the best and the worst day of my life. Liberating on a grand scale and deadly on a emotional level. Yet I did it. I pushed you so far, I made you make a choice.
And you did.
I wasn't it.
So yeah it stung but I changed. And now I have kept going. Sure there are days where the mind asks "wonder what he is doing" or "what piece is he working on now". Yet I just keep replacing those questions with nature. Asking things about nature or putting myself where I won't think period.
All the gentle laughter and small trails of tears I am picking up and relaying the objectives. Its fun. See I can move and don't need anyone to be inside my circle. I am not lonely. I have plenty of pieces to correct. I am focusing on me.
What I should have done long before I lingered in a forest green. Indeed. My small defeats but good lessons I have gained. Knowing my worth is better than any friendship. Realizing strangers become friends and friends were glorified strangers.
Indeed a sigh that settles. Now the movie of choice is playing and I am laughing, crying and loving. Interesting how the depth is true. Umrao Jaan. More than you ever could peel back my layers.
Not many could. Some even got scared to look, to learn. Sadly to say you did too. Oh well. Depth is growth. Yet some can't "get it" on all levels. I never asked that. Just the first 5 layers, I hoped you would get me. And you didn't. It was all misunderstood.
No worries. Too late to learn now. Because good bye was said.
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