No need
Plans on staying quiet over time and letting things just disappear over time was ideal but the reality of things is that everything I guessed ended up being right. Clarity rings so true in so many ways. And yet nothing done can ever seem to really feel that the blow is deeper than just frivolous female feelings.
Sad how a person can just constantly feel the need to slap people in the face and get away with it. Yet it is seen. I get the impressions that are supposed to be weighing in on things only to realize what is said and done are at complete polar opposites.
And still the need to speak up is real. Yet who listens. Who notices anything I say and the depth of what they may mean. None. But I keep talking. Shiny, sparkling things only do so much of a promise to people. But do they even know the depth of who they are seeking attention from?
No.
Probably why I don't see myself ever attached to anyone anymore. There is just no need now. I have learned so much from sideways people to know that life isn't going to be peachy but I am not asking it to be.
So sure people push me away and even put labels on me but did they even once try to get to know me? No.
Indeed the depth the felt they understood had a more significant layer beneath. But I suppose people get tired of looking because they just don't want to know anymore. The sad way a to go about it.
And even though most of my tirades are about how one person can never see past their own steps, I still understand that is probably the best area they need to work on. I know we are all imperfect and there are so many things that need to be adjusted but seriously the getting connected to another person is going to kill you.
Allow me to say buying gifts or giving gifts to people that you think will like, even love you more is just a facade. You will hurt and destroy whether you know it or not. In the long run why not look just for who you are today. Not pleasing anyone and not hating yourself for searching.
Yet not that anything I have to say merits to anything you would accept. Nothing I say stays ringing in your mind. And dearly I can't even turn your head. Its a sad token of friendship, I must say. And today I had what takes the cake.
I generally say nothing when I see things. But today I am saying you should take back your gift if your promises down the line can't be 100% true. That everything you say is an open book. Because if it can't be wide open, every fiber dissected then you need to beg back on your gift. For in the long run you will only destroy a heart that doesn't deserve to be broken.
And to see another heart destroyed by you is WRONG. If the search for bible things are genuine and not pursued because of you, then I congratulate the findings made. But if it is a tangible link to be closer, I dissuade all attempts now because that doesn't bring you any closer. It only finds your heart to be true and see the layers of undiscovered lies. They do unravel and when they do you will find your mind, your spirit and your heart splintered.
But what do I know. I have taken those steps. But I was labelled all sorts of things by people who know nothing of me. By men who carelessly tossed me to wayside. And now, how am I holding up? I know some loved me, but was it real? I really would never know because no one stepped forward until the last week.
Then I was already accepting my role.
See that is the different between a growing star and a grounded root. A star falls and is only remembered in passing. Life, I can't, wish that for you. Born to shine. Born to stay brilliant. Born to be a light in the darkness for someone. Born to be this wonder to so many.
I can't let you be the roots. I can't allow you to want to find roots in the earth. For if I let you fall, who am I? I am just like all the rest of the scientists and chemists that try to dissect you. Killing the last glimmer of hope you hold dear.
But I am only known as the bitter one or the crazy one. Yet did you know, I was you once. I believed so much in glowing greens. I saw the world and I leaped for all that I could. Only to find that the dazzling green is more like a matted, worn green weed. Persistent in the words and determined to let everyone see the brightest side. Yet no real intention to be anything but that.
Once. Once I believed.
Sure you can label me a bitter female. But I am giving you the slightest of warnings. Dazzling colors of greens and blue reds will mean nothing if you can see all of the reality of who your dreams are. If you can't believe just one ounce that I had been there before.
But you avoid because the lies have been spread already. You have been told so much that now even you can't tell the difference. That is the draw. That is the ploy.
I feel pity only because not all of the women from the past of men, are crazy. We became so because they said only women have drama. We gave our emotions too soon. Some just couldn't handle it. And all the new ones get told this expansive, detailed something.
And still, now, I only think I am doing what is best. No one has to listen and no one has to read. But someone will see.
That is all that matters.
That is all I can hope.
Sad how a person can just constantly feel the need to slap people in the face and get away with it. Yet it is seen. I get the impressions that are supposed to be weighing in on things only to realize what is said and done are at complete polar opposites.
And still the need to speak up is real. Yet who listens. Who notices anything I say and the depth of what they may mean. None. But I keep talking. Shiny, sparkling things only do so much of a promise to people. But do they even know the depth of who they are seeking attention from?
No.
Probably why I don't see myself ever attached to anyone anymore. There is just no need now. I have learned so much from sideways people to know that life isn't going to be peachy but I am not asking it to be.
So sure people push me away and even put labels on me but did they even once try to get to know me? No.
Indeed the depth the felt they understood had a more significant layer beneath. But I suppose people get tired of looking because they just don't want to know anymore. The sad way a to go about it.
And even though most of my tirades are about how one person can never see past their own steps, I still understand that is probably the best area they need to work on. I know we are all imperfect and there are so many things that need to be adjusted but seriously the getting connected to another person is going to kill you.
Allow me to say buying gifts or giving gifts to people that you think will like, even love you more is just a facade. You will hurt and destroy whether you know it or not. In the long run why not look just for who you are today. Not pleasing anyone and not hating yourself for searching.
Yet not that anything I have to say merits to anything you would accept. Nothing I say stays ringing in your mind. And dearly I can't even turn your head. Its a sad token of friendship, I must say. And today I had what takes the cake.
I generally say nothing when I see things. But today I am saying you should take back your gift if your promises down the line can't be 100% true. That everything you say is an open book. Because if it can't be wide open, every fiber dissected then you need to beg back on your gift. For in the long run you will only destroy a heart that doesn't deserve to be broken.
And to see another heart destroyed by you is WRONG. If the search for bible things are genuine and not pursued because of you, then I congratulate the findings made. But if it is a tangible link to be closer, I dissuade all attempts now because that doesn't bring you any closer. It only finds your heart to be true and see the layers of undiscovered lies. They do unravel and when they do you will find your mind, your spirit and your heart splintered.
But what do I know. I have taken those steps. But I was labelled all sorts of things by people who know nothing of me. By men who carelessly tossed me to wayside. And now, how am I holding up? I know some loved me, but was it real? I really would never know because no one stepped forward until the last week.
Then I was already accepting my role.
See that is the different between a growing star and a grounded root. A star falls and is only remembered in passing. Life, I can't, wish that for you. Born to shine. Born to stay brilliant. Born to be a light in the darkness for someone. Born to be this wonder to so many.
I can't let you be the roots. I can't allow you to want to find roots in the earth. For if I let you fall, who am I? I am just like all the rest of the scientists and chemists that try to dissect you. Killing the last glimmer of hope you hold dear.
But I am only known as the bitter one or the crazy one. Yet did you know, I was you once. I believed so much in glowing greens. I saw the world and I leaped for all that I could. Only to find that the dazzling green is more like a matted, worn green weed. Persistent in the words and determined to let everyone see the brightest side. Yet no real intention to be anything but that.
Once. Once I believed.
Sure you can label me a bitter female. But I am giving you the slightest of warnings. Dazzling colors of greens and blue reds will mean nothing if you can see all of the reality of who your dreams are. If you can't believe just one ounce that I had been there before.
But you avoid because the lies have been spread already. You have been told so much that now even you can't tell the difference. That is the draw. That is the ploy.
I feel pity only because not all of the women from the past of men, are crazy. We became so because they said only women have drama. We gave our emotions too soon. Some just couldn't handle it. And all the new ones get told this expansive, detailed something.
And still, now, I only think I am doing what is best. No one has to listen and no one has to read. But someone will see.
That is all that matters.
That is all I can hope.
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