Not too surprised

It never gets old.  These ups and downs with my breaking soul.  First the crying from intense pain. Then the migraine.

Followed by this burst of energy.

Then crashed.

I think I am doing okay but then a reality check slams in front of me. No consistent leg support.

No calming in the ever growling stomach which no food decorates the mind as good. Then when I finally eat to appease those around me my whole soul screams from spirit to bones to skin.

Nothing is without some part of this play.

Finally the peace of quieting silence settles inside of me. The the swelling of irritated linings.

I suck on a cinnamon disk because, usually,  it calms the regurgitation churning inside my throat. And by the third one I thought a natural release was there.

Apparently no amounts of water can flush away everyhing.

My soul screams for sleep, I get up only to realize jelly is the consistency of what supposed to be my legs.

Slowly I get up.

Then do the charcoal rinse on my face to tone down the flare up acne. And finish brushing my teeth when I feel the churning inside my mouth.

Quickly dashing for bathroom. Just in time to release blood into toilet.

My throat is raw.  Thinking oh wow. Then just as I mouth the word wow another burst comes charging.  Bending over only to have pressure through both nose and mouth.

Have just zapped all my energy. Leaving me wonder what is going on with my soul.

Dry throat
Thirsty
Tired.


Then I reach for my bed and close my eyes in spurts.  Finding just how wonderful life is.

Then I close my eyes.

Pray.

Looking for that one more day to have peace.

I have gained moments. Now sleep comes.

Good night.