Learn to control it
I am so grateful I am not ashamed of admitting things anymore. The bits and pieces of me that laid dormant for years. YEARS. And still I said nothing. But these days of late I can't afford to just let things go.
And if that, by means, kills off some people then it has to be. But I can't just sit there and say yeah I am okay when in reality I am just dying to scream my lungs off at a person. Some times just gotta walk away. As for others who don't see me, well sometimes just being downright honest is how it has to be.
If that offends or it makes silence remain then I am not afraid of that. I have learned so much about me in the last few months that whatever comes at me I am capable of handling it. Good, bad or indifferent.
Still as silly as I felt of supreme happiness I still felt left out. Yet it wasn't for me to feel. And still I felt it. So its quite annoying. Even more so now because I know from all this stupidity of crying I am going to get a migraine.
All because I wanted to receive. Lawd.
And still its simply put.
Yet it still hurts a little bit. But I am working through it. That is how I have to do it until I can cross it off saying I have triumphed on this emotion. Still its upsetting that I let it get there. Probably because I am already worn down and ready for the work week to be over.
Yet I know it is more than that.
Yet I don't know what exactly. So I am controlling it as much as I can. Silly and asinine as the situation is I still sigh at the fact I was envious over something I was happy about. So please pardon the weak moment but it kind of stings.
All in all a learning process. Learn. Live and get over it.
Almost there.
And if that, by means, kills off some people then it has to be. But I can't just sit there and say yeah I am okay when in reality I am just dying to scream my lungs off at a person. Some times just gotta walk away. As for others who don't see me, well sometimes just being downright honest is how it has to be.
If that offends or it makes silence remain then I am not afraid of that. I have learned so much about me in the last few months that whatever comes at me I am capable of handling it. Good, bad or indifferent.
Still as silly as I felt of supreme happiness I still felt left out. Yet it wasn't for me to feel. And still I felt it. So its quite annoying. Even more so now because I know from all this stupidity of crying I am going to get a migraine.
All because I wanted to receive. Lawd.
And still its simply put.
Yet it still hurts a little bit. But I am working through it. That is how I have to do it until I can cross it off saying I have triumphed on this emotion. Still its upsetting that I let it get there. Probably because I am already worn down and ready for the work week to be over.
Yet I know it is more than that.
Yet I don't know what exactly. So I am controlling it as much as I can. Silly and asinine as the situation is I still sigh at the fact I was envious over something I was happy about. So please pardon the weak moment but it kind of stings.
All in all a learning process. Learn. Live and get over it.
Almost there.
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