My minding hours

When I finally wake in the morning the thoughts that rumble through my head is enough to make a person hate me. The depth of the thoughts would allow you to understand who I am and yet tear you from my friendship circle.

Just the back and forth my mind does for hours until all thoughts weighing on me have emptied. Sometimes the brutality of my mind even hurts me.

Even the idea of talking to people in these hours make me cringe. Even more so are the ideas that just saying hello and pulling back is the hardest temptation. Worse than sitting in a room with nakedness.

The levels and layers I peel back during these hours are just some parts I don't think people deserve to see. Just letting them in is quite scary.

So I don't say a word unless someone else does. Then I rush to shuffle all the opened containers, closed so then I can be completely honest with knowing I cannot hurt anyone with all that weighs inside me.

The carefree one is here.

Mind you the entire time I am calm. And releasing toxins so peace can be seen. This is only my process in the morning. So now you understand why I am so quiet on many days.

It isn't a struggle nor a war but just the airing of the rooms inside of me. Long enough to be free of clutter, of emotion because that does harm.

And now I begin my day. I hope you do well to enjoy yours.