Nightmare deuce
Some days to wake early from a nightmare is hard to break myself back down to fall asleep.
Yet this was no ordinary nightmare. It truly was the fear of letting my heart get involved again, in any situation. Then to hear things that made separations permanent.
It hurt so bad I woke screaming out the names and crying so bad. Yet in reality there is absolutely no attachment.
And though that is real the stomach and mind just couldn't understand the depth of pushing it all aside.
Even worse is to wake again from the same dream. Only this time waking disappointed that I have to have same dream in my mind twice.
Let alone even being concerned where I stand with people. I had given up on that severely 3 months ago.
My life is mine. Everybody else's belongs to them. So why any thought of them even had to ink my mind is unclear.
And the depth of severing my lifeline with them, made me wonder if in actuality I do have a care for their thoughts of me.
And yet still it cannot matter. For the deepest measures of me, I won't let on that I am anything but my carefree self. Just how it has to be.
This nightmare twice is just the thoughts of my core. So deep that even at this moment I hope it disappears so I can move on.
It's such a disappointment that it has to even echo in my mind. That I actually want approval from such beings. Phenomenal.
So back to sleep I go. Resting in hopes that the pressure of my nightmares fall away from me and I can breathe easier wit out concern of you weighing me down.
I daresay this feeling I don't like and it needs to be trashed. Completely.
Dream of wildness in fields of gold wheat. Yes carefree among wildflowers. Indeed the change of mind. And to wipe away that slicing negativity eating me.
Indeed I cannot, I must not feel that entering my mind.
Good day.
Yet this was no ordinary nightmare. It truly was the fear of letting my heart get involved again, in any situation. Then to hear things that made separations permanent.
It hurt so bad I woke screaming out the names and crying so bad. Yet in reality there is absolutely no attachment.
And though that is real the stomach and mind just couldn't understand the depth of pushing it all aside.
Even worse is to wake again from the same dream. Only this time waking disappointed that I have to have same dream in my mind twice.
Let alone even being concerned where I stand with people. I had given up on that severely 3 months ago.
My life is mine. Everybody else's belongs to them. So why any thought of them even had to ink my mind is unclear.
And the depth of severing my lifeline with them, made me wonder if in actuality I do have a care for their thoughts of me.
And yet still it cannot matter. For the deepest measures of me, I won't let on that I am anything but my carefree self. Just how it has to be.
This nightmare twice is just the thoughts of my core. So deep that even at this moment I hope it disappears so I can move on.
It's such a disappointment that it has to even echo in my mind. That I actually want approval from such beings. Phenomenal.
So back to sleep I go. Resting in hopes that the pressure of my nightmares fall away from me and I can breathe easier wit out concern of you weighing me down.
I daresay this feeling I don't like and it needs to be trashed. Completely.
Dream of wildness in fields of gold wheat. Yes carefree among wildflowers. Indeed the change of mind. And to wipe away that slicing negativity eating me.
Indeed I cannot, I must not feel that entering my mind.
Good day.
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