Who would choose

Thousands of words crash down upon me. So many
ways to explain myself and still there is nothing to
say. Just a motion in time where all stands still. Is
that even possible?

Distance that is necessary to crawl back to where I
should have been standing all along. Why did I
divert for those short days? Was there someone,
somewhere lost that I thought I needed to find? Oh
why, who? Yes the love I have of all that I meet. A
must to continue on my journey. To hold, to drop at
least one vibration, one seed.

A momentary lapse of some misguided childhood
dream, I am certain. Still I could not stop from
hoping I could reach out and hold tightly to all that
was there. Was it wrong? Perhaps, but I had to know.
I had to finally grasp the understanding of what was
a burning wick. Now that I have learned of the
changes, how do I willingly choose to move?
Forward? Backwards?

Which one would you choose? Oh yes, many say go
the correct, right way. Yes that is the determination
of this woman. Also not to stumble and trip over my
own feet is a goal too. Haha. I laugh at the very sight
of me falling flat on my face. Comedy not so much
but the irony. All this is a possibility but I must choose
the direction first.

Forward. Marching. Onward. I balance myself with the
trials with the joys. Many errors in my life can be
the stepping stone I learn from. The lessons that can
be approved of. So much love I have to give. Why
back down from all that is there for just any one
person? Who is worth that to me?

So much of me weighs on the persistency I have of
my course. To fall back on madness would create a
volcano out of a fleck of dust.

Still yes. I do have to wonder about things, people. I
pray for their wellbeing and hope that the life they
choose proves to be worthwhile to them as much as
it is for me, if not more.

I want some of their choices to include me but I
would not demand anyone to be in my presence. I
can only hope by putting all my faith into Jehovah.
Otherwise I am running away from the Truth of
knowing their options should be willing. That they
desire me in their lives.

Ah how simple that seems currently. Just to choose.
Such therein lays the real question: who would choose
for me to be involved in their lives? Who would ask
for me?

Is there such a person? Perhaps but I am not going
to search for them. My needs, currently, does not
include incorporating any one person but Jehovah
into my life. Firmly planting him within spirit. So
deep that the vibrant red roots burn, brand me as
his child, his daughter.

To such a hope that someone finds me, needs me,
needs a moment of my time. I am opened. They
will search for me and I will be surprised for the
result of joy in their eyes. The radiance that pours
from their soul, their spirit. Ah one day, someday yes.

Until such a moment I do not stop my journey. The
trials, the errors I may make only brings me stronger,
clloser to those who I put so much effort into loving.
When will they see it? How will they ever know of it?
Slowly one by one the words absorb into their minds.
The thoughts, the memories open wide. I hope that
what is realized is just a beginning to a new
building. The craftmanship to become upstanding
and breathtaking.

Oh dear friend would you not want that too? An
abundant joy that never ceases?

A blank canvas is awaiting the second streak of paint.
If you look you will recognize my signature color.

Open wide and venture in. The brushes lay at your
fingertips. Just choose.