Hot and cold perspectives

    Welcoming myself to a moment for just me. Sense
of calm waves over me.

     Cold but still so hot. The core inside me is raging
all because I am thinking. Hmm. How to let it slip away
from me? How to ease into a time for disappearing
for a few hours?

     Tokens I used to hold sacred are less and less. Now
it is memories being made by friends. Still I feel
as though I am being pushed out of involvement of
activities. Perhaps that is out of not knowing, perhaps
that is because of vindictiveness. Not sure and not
going to try to understand. This is why I have Jehovah
as my foundation.

    Now all I hope for is that friends know I am changing
for the right reasons and all those wondering should
lean upon Jehovah as I do. La. All I can do is hope for
them.

   Now still shivering in the cooling of circulating air,
I sit hoping a friend will say something, anything. Oh
how I hope. Perhaps too much but I am going to with
a clear conscience.

   Still certain some doubt that but I don't consider
their nastiness. I know we all are imperfect so I am
good with understanding my areas of flaws. No need
to press any of their negativity into my life.

   Ah how warmth of smiles, waves and gifts are by
far more welcomed in my life than that of a fakeness
given in negativity.

   So yes deep down there is a fire raging inside me.
From where it comes I do not know. All I do is use
it for the good. Pouring my emotions and words to all
who listens.

   So my dear friend, I am grateful you chose to be
a positive perspective in my life. So happy that you
want to be included in my growth. Looking forward
to the next treat.

   Ah warming of soul and spirit blazes to core and
interrupts all thoughts but one. You.