Caring if I am really fragile?

To not sound like the worry wart I am nor the overly
concerned parent I have become. I just don't want
any of my friends to feel that I am pushy and
dramatic because I care way too much about each and
every one person I meet. At times it is rather annoying
to have a personality such as this. So much it
angers me that I don't even consider myself anymore.

Argh. I just want to scream sometimes. Perhaps even
a walk or playing music so loud that the nitpicking
words in my head are drowning. Does this sound like
something that happens to you? At any moment or
are you more controlled?

Still I stay quiet. Trying my hardest not to let any of
it eat away at me inside. So much is the possibilities
are endless. La. Oh dear me. Yes, indeed in these
trying times I am pitiful. Shh. Don't tell anyone. Haha
I laugh loudly in a rather hearty cynical chuckle.
Sneering at myself, chiding in hopes to cease all that
corrupts these happy memories.

Walk away is what is often planned. Still plans can go
awry. This I know all too well. Hmm I wonder why?
Still I keep trekking on. In hopes. In positive motives,
emotions I trump all that is itching to be demeaning.

Getting up and out of my warm spot on red sofa, I
travel to my crafting table. Using any diversion to
draw myself away from grinding of teeth and
crunching ice cubes. All to stop any and every negative
thought that is ransacking my head. Still the anger
hits me hard. Grr. Is all that exits lips. Everything
else stays to simmer inside soul. All expanding and
waiting for the right time to ooze out of pores.

Perhaps that prayer to Jehovah would help ease me
over any kind of sharpness in the road. All the
stones within soul stay motionless until finally able
to skip across the smooth surface of peace. Hmm
yes that does sound soothing.

More and more I hope to see friends, family. Ah
such is the need of a smile, of a tightly wrapped hug.
Now the waiting game begins, with Jehovah's help I
am able to ease into a mellow calmness.

One more thought that echoes inside my mind. Trickles
down to my spirit. A prayer, a hope of being closer
to finding the answer to a question. One that I have
to press from soul through heart to my spirit.

To finally swallow all that causes fire to burn inside
me and any worries that attempt to break me. Would
love to talk to people, anyone but I find myself
drawing closed.

Perhaps I need this one more opportunity to reach
out to you, to get all that grows unsteady out.
Would you still walk beside me, if I spoke of my
uncertainties? Would you still be my friend? Would
you still love me even in my stages of concern?
Would you still care if I loved too much?

Perhaps this one more thought, this one more
sentence to suggest that I am more fragile than I lead
so many to believe. Would you care? Would you show
how to get back up? Would you show the right
Scriptures to seek?

Would you do all that for me, dear friend?
I would for you, if you ask, if you showed.