Small leanings

     Crafted by the hands of Jehovah I stand before
all. Still so small but mean so much to a few.

     So much is given. Who is there to take? I stand
tall against the world. Leaning only on Jehovah for
support.

     Yes dear friend I lean only on Jehovah. Can you
do that even now as I talk back to you?

     Oh how can I even sit here allowing the weight
of concern over dear ones leave me drowning? How,
why would I do that for anyone? Ah yes because I
care too much. Some times I may inquire and if a
sensitive subject I do not persist. All is up to you if
details should be given.

    Sitting here rolling my shoulders back. Waiting,
ever so patiently for the tightening of jaw and muscles
to release, calm. Oh the parts of me that bring
impatience and sarcasm to the table, I try to turn
away.

      One by one the words of what I would like to have.
Seated in front of, right next to. Still have, want, need.
Really? Yes. In front center. Smiling.

       Would you like to sit here beside me? On red
chenille just talking, just smiling, all even in silence?

       Silly how I ask thousands yet none answer.

       Do I even know who reads? No. Have ideas.
Some clues are given but still no one states a claim
of self on any comment. Not sure why but somehow
I still write more. Writing to one friend or thousands,
if you saw me would you even know that I am
the writer you have come to know?

      I don't even bother trying to ask anymore. So tired
of games people play. Why cannot just be truthful
from beginning instead of being anonymous? Oh do
I even really want to know? Only Jehovah can answer
that.

     So here I am seated. Absorbing the coolness of
the room. The lights turned low to create a moment
where limbs and mind are lost for a few minutes.
Absorbing the soothing sounds of silence. The aroma
of vanilla wafting in the air. A flick of candlight
hinting the need for comfort. Ah yes softest cotton
falling down over soul. All paleness cover but neckline.

     So much has exited and yet so much is retained.
To which is what I will not say.

      So to you wherever you may be. Come, sit with me
here. I would love a nice conversation.