Taken time

      Tiny steps taken to improve all walks. Choices
broken down to finest detail, serves the big picture in
the end.

      Softly I whisper a hello. Not caring who hears. Only
hope somewhere, someone does hear. Calmly my
head is smoothing the words to pen and parchment.

      Ah the senses no longer battling inside a war. Now
heart is only thing that needs calm. Soon the irratic
heart beat becomes normal. Granted I am uncertain
what "normal" is, I am sure Jehovah will calm.

      One step. One tiny breath at a time. Each moment
opens to it's own. Hmm. A time of thought. A prayer
to give my thanks to Jehovah.

     Ah only to make more changes to who we are.
Every one tiny change helps the grand one for Jehovah
seem possible. All others around matter not if you
make those corrections for Jehovah and yourself. All
falls in place when need to be.

     No longer do I hide behind excuses. Yes I took and
took where I was not allowed. Still I wanted more. Now
the improvements I have made, make me see just
how wrong I was. How severe the situation was. All I
did was hurt people. Jehovah how could I have been
like that? Making choices and asking of others to join
in on my lie? How could I be that cruel?

      Still now, at moments, I chide myself. Reminding
I am no longer that person. To that I am grateful.
Still I hurt so many people in process. How did they
find it in themselves to forgive me? I do not know.
All I must remember is that Jehovah is there for me.
All else matters not now. Only must I prove to Jehovah
that I am worthy of his name, to be his daughter.

       Yes still I have trouble understanding, even with
Jehovah, that I can be loved and trusted, that I can
love and trust others. So much is hard to grasp at
moments and other days feels smooth as glass. Ah
how difficult I am to even myself.

         So dear friend do you ever feel that way?