Steel pressure

All thoughts are here in my mind. However at a stand
still. Hidden by a wall of steel, brick and mortar.

Can no longer stand the pressure, tension building
in temples. Must let out emotions.

Yesterday, standing outside I allowed one strong
memory to wash over me. Absorbing all irrational
senses, I just let the eyes close long enough to have
the tears fall.

Asking then of Jehovah to help me remember hindsight
is always 20/20 now. Places to learn from experiences.
Oh but I did not want to let go. Moments that held
deep into my spirit.

Yes I stepped aside so many times. Let the waves crash
and smother me. Still like a stubborn tree I did not
wash away. My roots firm.

So this memory. I give thanks to a moment of
rememberance. Careful of who thought to play a trick
on me. I waved hello. Holding onto one sentence.
Not really knowing how to ask it. Just moving steady.
Forward facing, with slight tugs to past.

I give thanks to you. Thoughts of you, I hold dear.
Paying no attention to the busy world around. Lost
for a while, in a memory made.

Now spirit, soul, eyes, senses opened wider. Listening,
waiting for a word to answer a question I will not ever
ask. Only Jehovah hears his daughter's anguish. Time
opens to more time. One day, in hopes and dreams,
time will be good to me. The one empty moment
not so solitary any more.

A moment where holding fast to a name, to a memory
can bring such joy.

Until then I pray for my hopes to become reality as I
apply what Jehovah asks of me.

Will you help me love once more?