Small words to pursue. Love me

         Small words say hello to me. Vibrations that ooze
out of soul. Down, down to paper it all sifts.

         One by one the emotions shift to other areas.
Bones crack to exercise the right to jump as the
muscles scream for a massage. Still none are offered.

         Still here I sit so grateful that no longer do my
eyes flinch at the slightest amount of sound nor light.
Ah yes, Jehovah did hear my silent pleading prayer.
Even a prayer from those who were concerned about
their sister, friend.

         Oh I am grateful to have such a large family.
Many who do not even know me but love me just the
same. Grandness is Jehovah and his children. As so
much has been shown to me.

         Still I am sitting here happy to finally feel
complete, not scattered as I have been last couple of
days. Small are the steps I am taking to improve me.
A slow process as I overcome obstacles that press me
to choose wrong. I place Jehovah here with me. He
guides me to right choices, to trump any individual
decisions I attempt to make. This I am joyous in
knowing if I ask for his help everyday. I will see.

         To comprehend all that is placed before me is
not needed. To erase the emptiness and loneliness I
often push aside, I use the powerful Scriptures to open
my ears, my spirit to listen. Ah to absorb and apply
the guidance given, to listen to all that Jehovah is
giving me. Why would I leave all behind for any single
unconquered battle? Why allow one conflict, one
person to lead me astray? After all that I have done to
be worthy of Jehovah? Why jeopardize anything for
anyone in this wicked system of things?

          Staying silent is easier that waging war with
different personalities. Often times walking away is
the best answer. Being called names because I don't
conform to doing what everyone else is doing only
brings me closer to Jehovah, my Father. Ah such
wonderful strength Jehovah gives to me in moments
such as these.

          Still Jehovah I ask, how does one place the
hatred behind them, not be affected by it? Ah yes, to
love. To love all that hate, persecute for the sake of
Jehovah. Why not I ask to all of you?

          I still, persistently, love those who do all they can
to make me want to hurt. Still I love them. Oh
Jehovah I understand why you grant me patience and
lots of silence. Teaching me to walk away.

         So now I smile.

         So please, I plead with all my brothers,sisters,
love me even in my worst moments. Love me in my
silence. Love me in my quirkiness. Just love me for I
will be doing the same for you.