I forgave you but what of me?

Staying still. Holding onto a grand memory. The day
I forgave someone who needed to hear it.

Letting go of the hurt was hard but I needed to do it
because I would have been stuck. My heart could
have kept clinging onto something that was not me
anymore. I did not want that to hold me back from
Jehovah anymore.

One day upon another. I gave that forgiveness but
did I allow myself the same grace? Oh no. I chided,
hated myself for the choices I chose then. I hoped
to,finally, get the same words in return. Still I wait
but I know now how to continue on. Not going wonder
now if I deserve anything from anyone. All I must
do is prove myself worthy of Jehovah. No one else,
not even myself.

Yes my eyes fall under a grand waterfall but all
come complete eventually. I know someday I will
get the words in return.

So would you forgive me as I have done to you?

Ah I now ask myself the same question : am I worth
forgiveness?

Jehovah proves that his love for me is severe. I need
that. Knowing that wherever I am he is there lifting me.
Falling down, I will get pressed back into life by
Jehovah, by his messengers. How, now, do I ever
question what was given when I confessed? So why
do I still eat up myself when Jehovah has forgiven me?
I am only proving to him that his forgiveness isn't
worth anything.

Oh, oh brothers, sisters show me that I should not
be questioning the worth I am.

Glancing up, I pray to Jehovah. A silent whimper to
quake deep within spirit. Drawing arms around soul,
tightly squeezing waist. A hug that was the smile my
spirit needed to feel.

               Thank you for hearing, listening.

One day after another I glance up in hopes. The
dreams of a child erupts deeply inside this woman.
Then truly seeing that there is love, patience and
forgiveness. Peace. Unity does exist.

Such a calm. Letting myself see that, I too, need to
verbally hear forgiveness to continue my progress.

So looking forward to a moment when that arrives.

Until then keep smiling, right?