Stains that uplift

I close my eyes to watch as drops of rain stain
images across my mind. Words stomp across
the pages I call my memory. Fingerprints pressed
deeply into my mind.

Play a sweet toned melody as my soul dances. My
timing, my efforts of trying noted. Quilled in the
finest ink.

Joy cloistered in tiny mountains of moisture. Hear
a call to the wind. The echoes of thunder cracking.
Lights flashing all dark, white blue. Whirly winds
uplift me. Standing free of stress, anxiety and
looking out at the marvelous sky.

Curiosity wavers inside me. Jumping up, wanting
to be questioned. A query that beckons time.
Moments where bowing head down and submitting
to error. I nod knowing that what is said is true.
Wrong I was in past and here I am shaken with it.
How do I look away yet claim the wrong, hurt I did
to so many here? Path is hard to take yet I know that
with Jehovah's help I can explain that I have changed,
that the person that created a world of lies does
not exist anymore. Erased yet she still echoes in
my memories. I remember all the actions, words.

Moments I look around and feel scared but all I
have to do is ask Jehovah for his holy spirit,
strength and wisdom to answer properly.
Eggshells would have shattered if I had not been
taught Jehovah's way. I know now how to say,
what not to say, keep peace with all around.

Breathe.......

All I can say right now. Just breathe. Constant
battle to let loose a million tears. Still why not?
Why not release the tension? Nature I welcome,
a car ride to soon relieve all the worries and
tension built. Once more I pray. Constant prayer
erupts my mind, shouting at times and whispers
so softly as the water wells in my eyes.

Tender longing to be here for all I have hurt yet,
I too, am still growing, still learning. Oh how do I
let go? How does the skin unravel and shed me,
even here? With Jehovah and the will, strength
he gives me.

Push forward and ask for forgiveness. Do not
expect anything. A gift is best when unknown.
Give thanks to those who help accommodate, guide
me even though they too have busy schedules. I
persevere because I can ask for help from Jehovah.
He hears all that I am currently feeling, thinking,
weighed down with. So thankful to be able to
turn to Jehovah, God.

My eyes blink back salty water. Nerves calmed
and mind eased. Oh how I know when home
is reached that I will be welcomed. Heart softer.

Alert. Awake. Time does ease the pain. Nature,
long walks into God's grandest painting, a wide
palette to bring me home, calm, eased. Oh Jehovah
you are every where. Thank you for uplifting me
from the stains.